Ok, so. Remember how I said I took that 3 hour nap until 8:30 last might and also said how it totally wasn't going to affect me, and I would sleep well?
Wrong.
I couldn't sleep for shit. (Excuse the language, but that is an apt description.)
It was terrible. And I dreamt I had a big dog. And it pooped on the floor! And I had to clean it up! And I realized that it was my fault because I didn't walk it, but I didn't have time to walk it, so I knew I had to give it away...and become ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. People who give away their furbabies. :SHUDDER: Never.
Anyway, I had an ok day regardless. I was having a pretty rough morning, but a perky compliment turned that all around.
I ate on my plan. Yay! I did cheat with the peanut butter a little bit at meal #2, BUT I made a strong choice to NOT EAT THE STRING CHEESE during meal #3.
Oh. I just realized I only had three meals today. Whoops. I'm supposed to have five, but normally, I get four.
Well, I did eat a handful of almonds at 4:50pm.
Anyway, the string cheese was a big deal, because I have a THOUSAND excuses/good reasons to EAT THE STRING CHEESE. But this time I just told myself that: it does not go with this meal, butter is my fat for this meal, and choosing to have the string cheese is making a choice that will NOT make it easier to reach my goal.
And then I told myself that I was capable of resisting the string cheese.
This is a big deal. If you've ever been on a diet/meal plan, you know how that one little slip up can wreck your whole week. Hell, I just spent the month of April convinced I was not capable of eating clean/giving up coffee and ice cream.
It's little successes that you build on to get to the big successes. Just a series of difficult decisions.
Speaking of big successes, I've scheduled my stay at the Nature Inn! End of the month of May! It makes more sense to reward myself with something that big for three weeks of staying on task, not one.
For a little reward, I bought myself a new tank top and sports bra because I made it through Amy's class tonight.
Let me tell you about that. I wasn't really feeling prepared because I have not done anything intense since the beginning of April. Then I heard it was a lot of legs and cardio, which for some reason scared me. As if it would be anything else?
So literally ten minutes in, I start to think, "Oh my god, I don't think I can do this whole class, and I will have to bear the shame of leaving early. Except I can't leave early. It's Amy's class. Oh my god, I'll be staying for this whole class. And it will challenge me the entire time. I might have a heart attack."
Now I know that when other people post about their tough workouts, a little bitter, jealous piece of me thinks, "Well if it's such a pain in the ass, how about you stop doing it and quit whining?"
But here's the thing. While these classes are challenging and we choose to put ourselves through them, we also need support. At least I do. I need to hear those, "You go girl!" If I didn't hear them, I would probably stop.
The jealous part of me that occasionally wants to say something other than, "you go girl" knows that whoever is talking about their workout got one in when I didn't, and they are reaping the rewards.
So. Amy's class. Wow. It was incredibly difficult. And in the moment, my brain went to "Oh please, make it stop! I can't! I can't!" I didn't win that battle as much as I would have liked tonight. Although, I do have to say, at one point, we finished a leg exercise, and I rolled onto my belly and found myself with my face just pushed into the mat, and I thought I'd just stay there for awhile. So I kind of did.
So, please don't take this as complaining. I get more mileage out of that one hour than any other class I ever take. I also learn more about my own imposed limitations. I learn more about where I can push JUST a little more. I will also lose more weight today and tomorrow than I could doing any other workout. I just need to be able to get my brain to come along for the ride.
Also, it was FUN! Can you believe that hard work can be fun? We dance a lot, which is great, because I've been awkward about that my whole life. And, this routine will last for 6weeks, so I have 6 weeks to improve on Brazilian pushups, side Burpees, and banana jacks. And I love a challenge.
And actually, oh my god, this is so exciting! I only have seven weeks left to my goal!!! So this tough class Amy's got us doing is going to push me right along!
Things are coming together so nicely, I think I'm ACTUALLY going to see my belly muscles on my birthday!!z
And, I discovered that Appalachain Outdoors sells bikinis! I might have to wrangle Amy out to help me shop for a bikini when I hit this marker. Oh, this is all so exciting!!!
And, I forgot to mention that the reason I'm so tired was because I really pushed myself in that class. Even sometimes I felt like I wasn't, my heart felt like it might burst out of my chest. So, tonight, I most definitely WILL sleep like a baby. The benefits of that class are insane.
Bring it on!
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