Day 2! I'm still blogging!

Today went pretty well. My caffeine headache is getting milder, and that is really unpleasant, so I'd like it to go away soon.

I stayed on my plan for the most part! I didn't get up and exercise before breakfast. It might just be too early for that kind of change. Maybe I'll work on that for week two. Today, I didn't exercise at all. I didn't get up early enough, and then I came home and took a "nap", but I actually slept really hard from 5:30pm- 8:30pm. I must have needed it. My body was really sore from Mondays class with Kerry. I find if I'm really sore, out work out really hard, I tend to need more sleep. So this was not a surprise, and I'll probably be asleep by 11pm and sleep through the night.
I ate my meals on time. I didn't fudge my diet with peanut butter today, either! For meal #2, I had my apple, my protein shake and then I ate the correct amount of almonds. So proud of myself. It happened that way because I was in the middle of an inservice and FORGOT my peanut butter. Luckily for me, they had almonds, so I ate them for my fat.

For my next meal...it's fair to say that I get HUNGRY between meals now! I am not used to that. But I think it means my metabolism is revving up between meals and my stomach will stop expecting big meals (that I've been eating for the month of April).

Any way, for meal#3, I had chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, ezekiel bread with butter and a stick of string cheese. I overdid it with the fats for this meal. But I love putting the cheese on my chicken. Yum.

Finally, I was so hungry again at 4pm (i ate at 2:30!) that I starting cooking my 4th meal. I decided to make cod and kale pan-fried in balsamic vinegar. I cooked with butter!

As I was doing it, and knowing that it was not going to help me reach my goals, I had to remember to be gentle with myself. I did the very best I could. And tomorrow will be better.

And the day after that will be EVEN better!

And I'm not staying at the Nature inn until I take a weekday off and can enjoy the morning, with breakfast on a cheat day while I look out over the lake. Sounds so nice. It'll be toward the end of May.

Looking forward to it!

Plan for tomorrow...eat clean, have class with Amy, reward myself (playing with colored pencils?), maybe do my "blurts". This is an exercise that brings your critical voice to the forefront and allows you to change negative thinking.

For example:
I will see my belly muscles by June 28, 2012.
No you won't. You know this is hopeless. This is stupid. You're just gonna fall off track and spend your birthday not in a bikini but covered up. Just like you'll spend your whole summer.

I will see my belly muscles by June 28, 2012.
No, you won't. You'll get to a point where you're satisfied with how you look in regular clothes and you won't go the extra mile to be able to wear a bikini without shame.

I will see my belly muscles by June 28, 2012.
No, you won't. You'll lose some weight, maybe even hit 125, and you'll be so excited by it that you will want to be around men. And you will spend an entire weekend off of your plan (with men involved) and when you're done and go back to normal life, you won't have the ambition to get back on the plan.

I will see my belly muscles by June 28, 2012. I have 7 weeks and 1 day. I have support, I know what to do, I will not get lax when the job is not done, and I will not allow (my love of) men to be a distraction. I WILL see my belly muscles by this date. I've never been closer! This isn't stupid or hopeless, it's REAL and it's HAPPENING. June 28th. I'm ready for the work ahead.