My first day!

Granted, I definitely ate better overall ever since learning about sugar and carbs versus protein and vegetables. But today was the first day I ate clean EVERY MEAL! Egg whites for breakfast, green bowl for lunch (only used sesame oil and lemon pepper seasoning...probably more fat than I need, but NO HFCS!), protein shake, then turkey muffins and an orange. Ok ok ok, the orange probably does not belong. Especially not at 7pm. But, I was having a craving to SABOTAGE my plan. Seriously I think the only reason I wanted anything but clean food was to prove to myself that I'm never going to succeed at this.
But I recognized it, that tendency to opt out of the difficult thing, and made a different choice.
After all that, I remembered that the first few days are the hardest. DUH! The first few days of ANYTHING ARE THE HARDEST! I'm happy to report I made it through.
I even did my workout! I put serious effort into concentrating on the muscle today, and I was able to do more push-ups than I realized without straining my elbows! So yay! Now I'm rewarding myself some more with Breaking Bad.

Getting over the hurdles T minus 1 day

Today is my first shot at daily blog posts from my phone, my bed that take less than ten minutes. I can already tell you I avoided it pretty tough.
But here is a rundown of my day. I stayed up pretty late last night because...well because I was avoiding things. I was watching Breaking Bad and decided to fall asleep on the couch. Bad idea.
Anyway, today I got up at 11am and felt like a loser for staying up so late and sleeping in so late, so I immediately set out to right that.
I've been feeling kind of sick lately,with a sore throat and all, but I also know my apartment is very dry, so I boiled some water and immediately felt some relief.
I started reading my Chalene Johnson book immediately and got through a few chapters today, but I didn't accomplish half of what I set out to do...
Oops! Rule #1 I learned from Amy is to celebrate the POSITIVE! So, what I did was read 3 chapters in Chalene's book, buy some more groceries, take a nap try out some new apps on my phone, make a to do list, try to print competition pics for my vision board (center closed at 8pm, darn it!) read some Seth Godin at Barnes and Noble, and descale the Keurig.
Tomorrow I plan on following through on making my meals, a behavior checklist, taking pics and creating a Bronze Goddess vision board, creating my affirmations, and creating a measurement chart.
I had a goal of drinking 4 30oz bottles of water today, and I got two today. We will do better tomorrow.
Finally, this keyboard is really difficult to use at the moment. I was so much better at Swype! Well, anyway. I can give myself credit for doing my blog, just not in less than ten minutes!

Where to start? Day T minus 2 days.

That is the question I have been asking myself for the past two weeks in regards to this mission of seeing my belly muscles.  Where to start?  When to start?  How to start?  Why start now?  So.  I haven't started. 
Well, I could say that I did manage to go to the gym a few times in the past two weeks.  I guess what I really mean is that I haven't committed to another 12 week program yet.  In this year and a half long process of change, I have found that starting is the hardest part.  I've also learned that falling off the path is all part of the process.  The winning is in getting back on.  Here are some things I've learned about how to start, where to start, when to start, and why to start right now.

• Accept yourself as you are, right now.  Weigh yourself, measure yourself, take pictures, try on clothes you wished you fit into...whatever it is that you do to look at the reality of where you are, right now.  Do you know how many plates of nachos I have eaten or workouts I have skipped in the name of denial?  They give you this advice when you're tackling your finances too.  If you're too afraid to face your reality, right now, you're not going to change.

• Sooooo.  If I took my own advice, I suppose I would go do that.

1. Exhibit A:  Killing two birds with one stone.  Picture AND jeans.  Looking to reduce the spillover, but accepting where I am today.
2. Weight:  144.0lbs.
1. Measurements:
   L Arm: 10 1/2 (straight and relaxed)
   R Arm: 10 3/4 (straight and relaxed)
   Bust: 37 3/4
   Chest: 32 1/2
   Waist:  34 1/2 (straight) 36 (through belly button)
   Hips:  39
   Butt:  39 1/2
   L Thigh:  23 1/2  Midway 19 1/2
   R Thigh:  23 1/2  Midway 19 1/2
   L Calf:  13 1/4
   R Calf:  13 1/8

Ok!  Now in all that excitement, I had to search all over for my measuring tape that I lost months ago.  I DO NOT LOSE THINGS.  And, when something is misplaced, I will stop at almost nothing until it is recovered, or I can be satisfied that someone else threw it away or otherwise actually lost it.  As you might imagine, this can be difficult for other people who could get blamed for losing said object, and YES, I am guilty of being quick to blame others.  I'm working on it. :)
Anyway, I found the tape measure.  Turns out I tucked it behind a little mirror on my wall in my bedroom so I could see myself better.  I must have thought that was such a clever place, and I'd never "lose" it there.  Ha ha.  That's funny.  I ALSO decided to try and revive my iPod Nano, which I have revived a few times, but it always fails again, and rather quickly too. 
This would be SO AWESOME IF IT ACTUALLY WORKED!  I have been working out at the gym without music for about two years now.  I would LOVE to start working out to music again.  It would be a really nice addition to my morning routine.
Ah, but now, we have to get back to the steps that help me.

• Create a morning routine.  For so long, I have rolled out of bed at the last possible minute, dreading the thing I had to get up and go do.  Now, I have a routine.  I try to get up at 5am and have my coffee and do something called my "morning pages".  I learned about it from Julia Cameron, who wrote a book called The Artist's Way, which suggests writing in stream of consciousness style for 30 minutes, first thing in the morning.  Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, and most importantly, do not check Facebook.  Mel Robbins also calls this a "brain dump". Right now I have two goals in mind, and this 12 week plan is number TWO in priority, so it has to fold into the first priority.  Here is what my morning routine looks like:
• Wake up at 5am (may need to adjust this to 6am).
• Read affirmations 3 times out loud.
• Focus on vision board.  Try to use all 5 senses to visualize reaching your goals.
• Feed and water Maybelle.
• Make coffee, light candles.
• Write for 30 minutes (or about 5 pages in my journal).
• Meditate for 10-15 minutes.
• Write 10 minutes of content for other blog
• 6am or 7am, depending: Drink glutamine and SuperPump, eat 2 egg whites.
• Go to gym.  Workout should take one hour or one and a half hours.  Plan accordingly.  Travel back and forth to gym will take 20 minutes total.
• Drink glutamine or Muscle Martini in car on the way home.  (I'm not sure about this, I drink an awful lot of glutamine.)
• Make protein shake, drink it within a half hour of ending workout.
• Take shower, get ready for work.
• Eat breakfast, pack meals.
• Be at work by 9am or 11am, depending on the day.

So, that's my morning routine, and I jump out of bed for it, it's my favorite time of day.  This gets me moving in the morning and I know I need to do certain things at certain times, or they will be skipped.  Onto the next thing I must do in order to get committed to a plan.

•  Make a chart, something, anything to document achievements.  The first time I did this, I simply weighed myself every day.  I quickly learned that weight fluctuates a whole lot and this can REALLY backfire.  Amy, who has been with me every step of the way, told me that, but of course I had to learn the hard way.  I got hung up on the number Every. Single. Day.  If I had been working really hard at eating clean and the numbers didn't change the way I wanted them to, it was easy to justify a donut or something.  So, when I really committed to a 12 week lifting program that Amy recommended, I decided I would NOT step on the scale.  At All.  Instead, I decided to follow the program to the letter, knowing and trusting that if I did the work, it would do the trick.  That's what I plan on doing this time, too, but I still document.  I love the phrase:  Change is checking days off on a calendar.  To remind myself of that DAILY commitment, I have 3 months worth of a calendar taped to the wall in my kitchen.  Every day that I follow the program, I put a specific color post-it up on the day, with a nugget of something I did or learned that day.

It's a little way to celebrate and to see how far I've come, how long I've stayed on the program.  I will also need to make a chart to compare measurements from Day 0 to Day 30 to Day 60 to Day 90.  You can't really see, but the orange squares are little things I keep around, "You become what you think about." "Alcohol is a place to hide." And, now that I'm looking at it, I can see that I need to get rid of my December calendar...and does that mean I need to start TOMORROW?  I may not be ready for that.  We'll see.

• Finally, and most importantly:  Recruit people to help you achieve your goal.  That's why I wrote this introductory blog, to reach out and charge up my friends that have been so helpful in this pursuit.  Amy has been patiently coaxing me along, and I couldn't do it without her expertise and encouragement.  And I can't thank the friends that have been pushing me along enough!  I can't tell you how a simple comment or check-in has turned my whole day around on many occasions.  In doing this, I have also been able to pay it forward and be helpful to someone else on a day when they are struggling.  So...LET'S DO THIS THING!!!

Oh, what exactly is this thing?  Well.  Here's my vision.  I'm not getting any younger.  And I have always wanted to see my belly muscles.  So, I am on a Bronze Goddess Mission for this summer, the summer I turn 33.  That's right.  I said it.  Bronze Goddess.  ME.  Can you get behind me on that???  I'm a little nervous to put it out there (because I could be so easily ridiculed), but I also need a GOAL that delights my senses.  Why can I be confident I can do it?  I have all the help, all the tools, all the time, and all the determination I need to do it.

I have lots more work to do, like actually making the food, reading more of my Chalene Johnson book, and finding a way to do a blog entry every day, but THIS blog entry is...

• Getting the momentum going.  And that is the final trick.  For real this time. :)