Day One Down. I'm Hungry

I only have time for a very short post today to simply document my work.

One thing that will help me be successful is to get up early enough in the morning to eat breakfast at home and relax a little before I run into work.  Usually, my morning consist of rushing around and it's stress I don't want.

Today, I got up at 7:30am.  Whee!!!!  I ate exactly what I was supposed to eat, and even got to write a little bit before heading off to work.

I ate exactly what I was supposed to today, even though I spent most of the day hungry.  That salad didn't seem like it was any 753 calories.  (total calorie intake somewhere around 1473).

I went to the gym, and ran for 45 minutes for a total of 465 calories burned and 3.5 miles.  Just a note on that:  I really didn't want to.  I was hungry, not feeling particularly strong, and tired.  But I did it anyway.  IN FACT, I had to remind myself of WHY I am doing this in the first place.  One "Why" is that I want to feel and be successful at something difficult.  So, I was able to motivate myself to finish strong.  I ran the last two minutes faster than what was comfortable.  The last minute I ran at 7.0mph, telling myself to leave it all on the treadmill, and that I should be begging for the treadmill to stop at the end.  The previous minute I ran at 6.0mph.  Most of the time, though, I was at a 5.0 or a 5.2mph.

This was my mental state running at 7.0...

I am an ANIMAL!!!!  (hehe)

I also did some strength training (pushups, bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, shoulder press) and some abs (plank, butt lifts, crunches...can't remember what else) and I documented it all on a sheet I can keep at the gym.  It was hard to get started.  I remember the thought, "I don't want to" kept creeping into my head.  It's funny, I just observed the fact that I didn't want to do it, reminded myself that I had very little time to put my day in, and just did it anyway.  I was pretty proud of that.

Now I'm done with work and I get to reward myself (tonight I think it will be writing), and then I need to be in bed by 10pm.

Day One Is Complete!

Memorial Day...I'm Definitely New to This.

Here's a quick recap of my eating-at-Memorial-Day-Party-while-trying-to-lose-one-pound-per-week.

PLAN:

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:

This Is Probably The Worst Idea. Ever

It's on like Donkey Kong.

After watching the entire last season of The Biggest Loser, I decided it's Finally Time.  I've wanted to lose the extra 25 pounds I've been carrying around for...well I don't even know how long.  All I know is that I've been fooling myself about what I look like.  I distinctly remember this scene:  I was at Daytona Beach for Spring Break of 1999 (I think), I put on a bikini, and one of the guys that was with us saw me from the back and said, "Whoa! Baby got back!"  He wasn't complimenting me.  It was a comment on my back fat.  I should really create a word for "back fat".  I absolutely hate it.


I thought I looked good, until I saw pictures of myself that year.  And I weighed about 135 then!  Ten pounds less than what I weigh now!

I'm finding that I tend to be in denial or blissfully delusional when it comes to what I look like.  When I go to the gym and take classes at Kerry Bestwick's Pure Yoga Pilates studio, there are all these fit, muscular women, and I think I almost look like them.  I'm finding that I'm wrong.

This comes up when I'm clothes shopping and find out that I'm a size 12.  TWELVE???  I thought I was an easy size 8.  No.  One of my legs is a size 8.

I'm so tired of this dance.  I attempt to lose weight, and then I promptly forget that I have set the goal a few weeks into prioritizing eating right and exercising.  Or, I get caught up in my feminism and think, "Oh, my god, I'm betraying the feminist movement by focusing my attention on calorie intake and exercise!"  And then I decide I can only attempt to lose weight if I don't make it the sole focus of my life.

As you might have guessed, that doesn't work.

You have to make it your focus if you're going to succeed.

I have read so many books, watched so many shows, gone to so many fitness classes, asked so many trainers how to do this.  It has seemed impossible after trying and failing so many times.  Finally, when I watched The Biggest Loser, I realized that it IS about relentlessly tracking calories in and calories out.  It's about eating the right mix of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.  It's about avoiding empty calories like potato chips, soda, white bread, white rice, etc.  It's about upping my intake of fruits and especially vegetables.  It's about working out, building muscle, and doing challenging cardio.

It's not rocket science.  It's just finding ways to change your habits.  It's simple to plan, but difficult to execute and turn off those cravings.  Last night, for example, I didn't even try not to eat chips and salsa immediately before going to bed.

Lucky for me (and as a result of years of on-again, off-again weight loss attempts) I'm already off to a good start.  I have the things in place that I need in order to succeed.  I have the support of friends, I have a gym membership, I work at a restaurant that serves stir-fry, so at any time, I can go in and make a stir-fry of fresh vegetables, chicken, and brown rice for $3.  I don't even have to use any sauce.  Just grilled veggies and chicken.

The thing that I am most grateful for is that I have been taking Kerry's classes for so long that I have incorporated her tenets for working out.  One of my favorites is this:  "How you show up on the mat is how you show up in life.  When it gets painful, do you just give up?  Or do you try even harder to hang in there and see it through?  Do you push yourself?  Do you relax and find a way through the pain?"  Because of Kerry, I have been able to have huge breakthroughs in my life and in my fitness levels.  I can almost do military-style push-ups!

When I think about obstacles, I know that my biggest obstacle will be not letting life get in the way.  That's where this blog comes into play.  As long as I am writing (hopefully daily) about my attempts to lose weight, it will be hard to lose sight of the goal.

So what are my goals?
1. Lose 25 pounds.  I've decided that I am going to spend the next 25 weeks losing 1-2 pounds a week until I reach my goal weight of 120lbs.

2.  See my belly muscles.  This year I'm going to be 31.  For as long as I can remember (probably high school), I've wanted to see my belly muscles. I never really thought it was possible.  Part of this process will be redefining what I believe is possible for myself.

3.  Become my own fitness expert.  One of the mistakes I've made is that I've always thought if I just had the right "professional" helping me, I would succeed.  No.  This is all about me.  So, as part of the process, I want to find out what works by being my own expert and diligently tracking what I'm eating and how I'm working out.

I've got books by Jillian Michaels (Making the Cut, Master Your Metabolism) and Martha Beck (The Four-Day Win), and Bob Greene (Total Body Makeover) to keep me on track.

So, here's my plan so far for just starting out:
1.  Take Goodbye Pics (I will probably sincerely and painfully regret it, too, but...oh well.)
2.  Measure myself.
3.  Learn my ideal calorie intake and follow it!

And here are my objectives:
Daily:
1.  Stay within my caloric range (1440 calories)
2.  Eat every four hours.
3.  Eat my macronutrient ratio (40% carbs, 30% protein, 30% fats)
4.  Do at least 30 minutes of vigorous cardio, and some form of strength-training.
5.  Weigh myself and document it on my chart.
6.  Blog about my day.

Weekly:
1.  Post progress pictures.
2.  Evaluate the entire week.

Monthly:
1.  Evaluate.

Without further ado, here are my Goodbye Pictures (suggested by Jillian Michaels):

Oh my god, this is hysterically bad.  And I know it, according to my expression.

I am so not happy about this. I cannot believe my fat belly.

Wow I am going to regret doing this.  Look at my overhang on my bikini string!

This is possibly the worst thing I could have ever done.  Ever.  Put my fat square ass on the internet.

  But...these are goodbye pictures.  So...GOODBYE FAT SQUARE ASS!

Here are my Measurements:

Weight: 146.4lbs
Bust:  40" (incredible)
L Arm:  11"
R Arm:  11.5"
Chest:  33"
Waist:  38" (I let it all hang out, as per Jillian Michaels...no holding it in)
Hips:  39"
Butt:  40"
R Thigh: 23.5"
L Thigh:  23.5"

Here is my Daily Caloric Allowance: 


1440 calories per day.
I am calculating my caloric intake on SparkPeople.com.  Join me!


And now, I'm off and running.  Feel free to join me, I'll definitely need support and encouragement along the way, as I'm sure it won't be as simple as it looks.