Week 16, Day One. Renewed commitment.

Today a friend reminded me of a different state of mind that I used to be in.

It was really something. I was having a hard time convincing myself to go to the gym. I was half-afraid I would leave before the class started because I was so tired. I looked for encouragement from others, and she reminded me about the blog I wrote on why and how I continue to make choices...the difficult decisions of eating well when I want to eat donuts, of continuing to run when I want to sleep.

The answer was simple. I found out that time passes, and it passes rather quickly at that.  So I could make a few consistent, slightly uncomfortable decisions, and reap the rewards later, or I could squander the opportunity.

I found myself reaching more for the choice that required some effort.

For the past two weeks, I've been moving, my schedule has been erratic, and I've lost a significant relationship. In the face of that, I decided to avoid working out, used it as an excuse to eat poorly, and in general, get off course.

Tonight, I just realized how fast these two weeks have gone. And that I'm going to pay for making those choices.

I've lost some lean muscle because I haven't been working out like I should.  So in the next couple of days, I'm going to see an increase in weight as I build that muscle back up.

But the thing that really struck me was that in the beginning, I surrendered everything to Amy's expertise. Whatever she told me to do, I did it. I was done resisting, done complaining, I was ready to do the hard work required to lose weight.

Somewhere in these weeks, that has just gone by the wayside.

So, I'm getting it back. Starting tonight, I am resurrendering to the process.  I'm going to surrender better than I did before! I'm actually going to incorporate STRENGTH TRAINING!

I'm going to go to bed on time. I'm going to get up on time. I'm going to work out on time, in the ways I've been taught will be helpful.  I'm going to eat on time.

I surrender. Because time passes.