Here's what's been happening this week:
I really ate to my heart's content on Sunday. I already listed what I had, but I ate it late at night. My weight went all the way up to 141lbs, which it's supposed to go up, but I didn't expect to see a 4 pound jump. Well, that's not true. Given what I ate, I'm not surprised, but I knew that I had probably gone overboard a little bit, or, at the very least, I learned a very solid lesson in the Three C's (as Amy calls them) Consistent, Clean-Eating, at the Correct Time. I totally blew the correct time on my cheat day.
But that's ok, because this is Week Nine in a journey that I suspected will take me 25 weeks to complete. I'm learning all the while. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is in eating at the right time and going to bed at the right time. As it is, it's 10:25pm and I should be sleeping. But, I'm baking sweet potatoes, so I have to stay up at least until I can take them out of the oven.
What's been happening with my weight over the past few days is that it is floating down. Monday was 141, Tuesday was 140, today was 139 (but then then I went back to bed-I'm a little under the weather) and when I got up again, it was 138. I ate very clean today, (although I repeated breakfast) so I am hoping that tomorrow I will see less than 138. We'll see!
I know I'll get this week's cheat day right, and the days when I eat clean right. I've been a lot more focused on prioritizing eating on time, and that has helped. Also, Amy suggested that I start strength-training this week to kick up my calorie burn by working my larger muscle groups, so that should be a nice boost. But I'm feeling good about getting the hang of this!
My plan for tomorrow is to get up at 6am and go for a recovery run so that I can eat by 7am and finally be on track for my meals for the day. Then I have to do a bunch of running around to do. I was also hoping to hit the pool before work tomorrow to work on my tan! Seems like a lot to get accomplished by 1pm.
As it is, for some reason, lately there are just NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN A DAY! Or a week, or a month, or days in a year!
I am feeling SOOOOO frustrated by all the THINGS I WANT TO DO! I have a reading list a mile long that I am not even putting a dent in. I did, however, last night, read some of my Martha Beck book that I love. The daily running around crap has me totally ready to scream and rip myself out of my own skin.
As I sit here typing away on my bed, I have a basket full of clothes to put away..........
WTF. I might as well just DO IT ALREADY!
Doesn't change the fact that I am feeling so suffocated by just daily f*cking living! I called in sick today because I have been getting more and more worn down because I don't want the days to end because I have SO MUCH I want to do, and it caught up with me.
And, I forgot to finish that I'm surrounded by clutter. There are pens and books and journals and slippers and shoes and blankets and dirty clothes all around me and it is making my blood pressure rise. I literally cannot stand it. So, I suppose I won't.
But seriously, if I ever start making money, I will pay someone (hopefully an undocumented worker) a very comfortable wage to do the daily shit I don't want to deal with. I do not want to deal with laundry or dishes or cooking or cleaning. I hate having a messy living space, but seriously....how the hell am I supposed to get it all done? I suppose I need to develop my "Cleanie" habits and change my "Messie" habits. I have a book for that. It's on my list of things to read. Go figure. (Living Organized, by Sandra Felton)
Oh, and I read a little mini-book tonight by Seth Godin called Poke the Box (google it, you'll find it, my internet connection is spotty and taking too long for me to hyperlink it), which makes me want to start a new project....UGH! Why do I do this to myself???
My frustration level is at its boiling point. Honestly, if I had kids, I would cry (unless I had help, of course). Even having Maybelle takes away time. But then I think...well...I did watch an episode of True Blood tonight.
SERIOUSLY???? I don't even HAVE cable because I don't want to waste my time or money. Certainly, other people have more downtime than I do. I've had the DVD for almost an entire week, and I just finally got to watch the third episode. WHERE DOES ALL MY TIME GO??? Why do I feel like all I ever do is run, run, run??? And for somebody else, no less? (Although a lot of my running is for myself, it just feels like work. >_<)
Honestly, my part-time job consists of a 5 hour shift on Saturday nights. The past two weekends, I've worked 12 hour days on those days. But that's about it. Why do I feel like I piddle away all my time? This is so maddening. I am single. I live alone. No one is robbing me of my time, so why do I feel that way? I am feeling a literal, visceral anger that it is 10:39pm, and I need to sleep soon, or else this whole horrible cycle of not sleeping enough and then getting sick will start up again.
I think the answer is clear. I need a vacation. I need to empty my time. And I will do that. From August 25th through September 6th, I will be on vacation from my full-time job. It just can't come soon enough.
And maybe I expect too much of myself. There's so much that I want to learn, read about, and participate in, and I'm not good at being realistic and recognizing that I will simply have to pick one thing and focus on it.
Right now, the thing I am focusing on is losing weight. I'd like to focus on moving to San Diego, but there are only so many hours in a day. And I can do little things to get there that I would on a regular basis anyway, like pay my bills on time, create a monthly budget, make a savings plan, conserve money. Ok, maybe that's bigger than little things I do every day, but you get the idea.
Ok. Time to clean up my place before I go all Tarzan up in here.
I really ate to my heart's content on Sunday. I already listed what I had, but I ate it late at night. My weight went all the way up to 141lbs, which it's supposed to go up, but I didn't expect to see a 4 pound jump. Well, that's not true. Given what I ate, I'm not surprised, but I knew that I had probably gone overboard a little bit, or, at the very least, I learned a very solid lesson in the Three C's (as Amy calls them) Consistent, Clean-Eating, at the Correct Time. I totally blew the correct time on my cheat day.
But that's ok, because this is Week Nine in a journey that I suspected will take me 25 weeks to complete. I'm learning all the while. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is in eating at the right time and going to bed at the right time. As it is, it's 10:25pm and I should be sleeping. But, I'm baking sweet potatoes, so I have to stay up at least until I can take them out of the oven.
What's been happening with my weight over the past few days is that it is floating down. Monday was 141, Tuesday was 140, today was 139 (but then then I went back to bed-I'm a little under the weather) and when I got up again, it was 138. I ate very clean today, (although I repeated breakfast) so I am hoping that tomorrow I will see less than 138. We'll see!
I know I'll get this week's cheat day right, and the days when I eat clean right. I've been a lot more focused on prioritizing eating on time, and that has helped. Also, Amy suggested that I start strength-training this week to kick up my calorie burn by working my larger muscle groups, so that should be a nice boost. But I'm feeling good about getting the hang of this!
My plan for tomorrow is to get up at 6am and go for a recovery run so that I can eat by 7am and finally be on track for my meals for the day. Then I have to do a bunch of running around to do. I was also hoping to hit the pool before work tomorrow to work on my tan! Seems like a lot to get accomplished by 1pm.
As it is, for some reason, lately there are just NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN A DAY! Or a week, or a month, or days in a year!
I am feeling SOOOOO frustrated by all the THINGS I WANT TO DO! I have a reading list a mile long that I am not even putting a dent in. I did, however, last night, read some of my Martha Beck book that I love. The daily running around crap has me totally ready to scream and rip myself out of my own skin.
As I sit here typing away on my bed, I have a basket full of clothes to put away..........
WTF. I might as well just DO IT ALREADY!
Doesn't change the fact that I am feeling so suffocated by just daily f*cking living! I called in sick today because I have been getting more and more worn down because I don't want the days to end because I have SO MUCH I want to do, and it caught up with me.
And, I forgot to finish that I'm surrounded by clutter. There are pens and books and journals and slippers and shoes and blankets and dirty clothes all around me and it is making my blood pressure rise. I literally cannot stand it. So, I suppose I won't.
But seriously, if I ever start making money, I will pay someone (hopefully an undocumented worker) a very comfortable wage to do the daily shit I don't want to deal with. I do not want to deal with laundry or dishes or cooking or cleaning. I hate having a messy living space, but seriously....how the hell am I supposed to get it all done? I suppose I need to develop my "Cleanie" habits and change my "Messie" habits. I have a book for that. It's on my list of things to read. Go figure. (Living Organized, by Sandra Felton)
Oh, and I read a little mini-book tonight by Seth Godin called Poke the Box (google it, you'll find it, my internet connection is spotty and taking too long for me to hyperlink it), which makes me want to start a new project....UGH! Why do I do this to myself???
My frustration level is at its boiling point. Honestly, if I had kids, I would cry (unless I had help, of course). Even having Maybelle takes away time. But then I think...well...I did watch an episode of True Blood tonight.
SERIOUSLY???? I don't even HAVE cable because I don't want to waste my time or money. Certainly, other people have more downtime than I do. I've had the DVD for almost an entire week, and I just finally got to watch the third episode. WHERE DOES ALL MY TIME GO??? Why do I feel like all I ever do is run, run, run??? And for somebody else, no less? (Although a lot of my running is for myself, it just feels like work. >_<)
Honestly, my part-time job consists of a 5 hour shift on Saturday nights. The past two weekends, I've worked 12 hour days on those days. But that's about it. Why do I feel like I piddle away all my time? This is so maddening. I am single. I live alone. No one is robbing me of my time, so why do I feel that way? I am feeling a literal, visceral anger that it is 10:39pm, and I need to sleep soon, or else this whole horrible cycle of not sleeping enough and then getting sick will start up again.
I think the answer is clear. I need a vacation. I need to empty my time. And I will do that. From August 25th through September 6th, I will be on vacation from my full-time job. It just can't come soon enough.
And maybe I expect too much of myself. There's so much that I want to learn, read about, and participate in, and I'm not good at being realistic and recognizing that I will simply have to pick one thing and focus on it.
Right now, the thing I am focusing on is losing weight. I'd like to focus on moving to San Diego, but there are only so many hours in a day. And I can do little things to get there that I would on a regular basis anyway, like pay my bills on time, create a monthly budget, make a savings plan, conserve money. Ok, maybe that's bigger than little things I do every day, but you get the idea.
Ok. Time to clean up my place before I go all Tarzan up in here.
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