So this post is about some essential lessons I've learned about losing weight...which really boils down to lessons I've learned about changing.
1. Time passes, no matter what decision you make.
2. Don't think about it. Just do it. (Because time passes, no matter what decision you make.)
3. Everybody makes sacrifices, just choose the sacrifice you want to make. (Because time passes, no matter what decision you make.)
So, the first one is pretty almighty.
Lesson #1: Time passes, no matter what decision you make.
I've learned this through my diet, mostly. Every week, Monday comes hard and heavy. I start a brand new week, I re-start my diet, I take pictures, I take stock of where I'm at. Every Monday is harder to eat clean than every Saturday. It seems like such a struggle to get all my meals together. I yearn for something bad, like Taco Bell and their sorta-beef. It feels like I have such a long way to go.
Then Friday comes along and INEVITABLY, this thought crosses my mind: "Holy crap, it's Friday, and I ate clean all week! That happened fast!"
Of course on Friday, it feels like it happened fast. Those tiny moments where I think, "Hmmm, will it make a difference if I have just ONE MORE tablespoon of this crunchy, delicious peanut butter? It's clean food!", they've all but evaporated, and I am just left with results. Results of employing Lesson #2 (Don't think about it, just do it). That is, in those moments where I am torn between following the rules or slipping up just a little bit, I attempt to employ that lesson. I usually stop thinking about it, and just do it (which usually means, PUT THE PEANUT BUTTER DOWN!).
So, every week, I'm reminded that time passes. And rather quickly, at that. Actually, it flies. I can't believe I'm about to start Week 10 of this business. And with time passing, I've noticed that 31 years of my life have passed, and I've made decisions for 30 of them that were VERY different than the decisions I'm making today. In fact, this is the first time in my life I have successfully stayed on an eating plan. It's so easy to look back and realize that all those years that I thought I just wasn't going to be successful at getting the body that I want, that that was just not true. My impending success at seeing my belly muscles is simply the result of information, support, and making different decisions consistently (and drive, of course, you have to have a reason-I'll get to my reason later). And that gives you a little peek at Lesson #3 (Everybody makes sacrifices, just choose the sacrifice you want to make.).
I'm really glad I've been learning this "time passing" lesson because it comes in VERY HANDY when I'm working out. Amy has had me doing Bear Runs to really spike my heart rate and let it come down. From what I understand, the results of that kind of high intensity interval workout is a 36 hour calorie burn, lengthening of your mitochondria (which is basically a fountain of youth, keeps your metabolism up, helps with skin elasticity, and a whole host of other things I don't know about which probably includes "you will never die!"), and of course, whatever calories you burn in the session is also a result. The first time I did bear runs, I only did 10. (Bear Runs are little bursts of running as fast as you can for 30secs-like a bear is chasing you, REALLY chasing you, you're running for your life-and then recover, do it again as many times as you deem necessary.) That first try was pretty easy. I mean, I was tired afterward, but counting down from 10 is psychologically very easy. But this week, I had a goal of 20 bear runs, and that was a total mental challenge.
I got through it by reminding myself that I only has this set amount of time to work out. Plus, by the time I ran 10 bear runs (and rest periods) away from my house, I HAD to run back or I would be seriously late for work. So I just kept reminding myself that time was passing. I could either use that time to maximize the effects of my workout, after I had already worked SO HARD all week long to eat clean to make sure the workout counted. No matter what I did, time was tick-tick-ticking away. So I just dove in.
Tonight, I had the same experience, only it was So. Much. Harder.
See, my nutritionist/trainer/awesome support person Amy makes me feel like I have my own Biggest Loser show. You see, she checks in with me all the time, and the past couple of days, she asked about what I planned to do to workout each day. I hadn't been doing any strength-training, so she is building that in, but my standard response when I don't have a class at the gym is, "Oh, I just thought I'd do an easy half-hour run." Today, she played a fun game with me and asked me to pick a number between 10 and 20 (she's totally my Jillian and Bob!). So, of course, I pick 20. I can't not. She tells me that there is this hill near the gym that she wants me to run up and walk down 20 times. As you might imagine, this hill is no joke. It is short and steep. I'll admit, I was very daunted by the idea, but I thought, "As long as I get to walk down, I think I can manage."
She told me to bring my Ipod because it would be a tough mental challenge. She said that my glycogen stores would be depleted by the 3rd or 4th time I ran up it. That was a scary thought. I thought, "She thinks I'm way tougher than I am." But, nonetheless, I grabbed my stuff, headed to the gym, warmed up for 15 minutes on the elliptical, stretched and then started these runs. (I have to say, I had an advantage, because I was in bed sleeping most of the day-my workplace has this rampant mold problem, and it has been slowly wearing me down (allergies), but this week, the humidity has been so thick that I couldn't manage anymore. So, I was in bed, sleeping, waiting for my allergies to calm down since they were no longer exposed to the mold.)
So, I got started. It only helped that she happens to live on this hill, and told me she'd keep an eye out for me. The first run up, I thought, "Oh shit. I can't do this 19 more times." Then I remembered that time passes, and I only have to perform in the moment that I'm in. I walked down the hill. I started again. On my way back down, Amy stopped out to say hi, and that was very motivational. I knew she could see me running, so I wanted to do my very best. I ran up again. The third time I thought, "I am really in trouble here. It's HOT! I just don't know..." but I walked back down the hill.
Lesson #2: Don't think about it. Just do it.
I finally got into this agreement with myself that I would employ the lesson I've learned so thoroughly: "Don't think about it. Just do it." I can't tell you how many times I've heard this in yoga classes, pilates classes, spinning classes, you name it. Your brain senses pain when you're in yoga or struggle in your breath when you're running and it says, "OH MY GOD STOP YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" I didn't finally understand how this trips you up until I was taking one of Kerry Bestwick's classes, and she had us doing one-legged squats on a Reformer machine and my leg was screaming in pain. I tried to squirm out of it anyway I could, and I remember so clearly she said (paraphrasing of course),
Kerry: "Is your leg telling a story? A story that it's going to fall off if you keep going?"
My thoughts: Why yes, as a matter of fact, I was pretty certain my leg was going to die and fall off if I kept going.
Kerry: "It's just a story your mind tells because it wants to stop, but your leg is not going to fall off. Trust me. It will just get stronger."
All of a sudden I had this epiphany that I TRULY believed my leg might fall off if I kept going. Part 2 of the epiphany: That thought isn't true! And this thought was what was keeping me from having the body I've always wanted: long, lean, and svelte (well, as much of that as you can get at 5'2"). Ever since then, I've tried to listen to hear where my brain is telling me to stop when my body can definitely handle more. Thoughts are important, and you should always try to direct them, but that's another topic for another day.
So, back to this running up a steep hill 20 times business. I found that the only time I struggled was starting again. I mean, don't get me wrong, the steepest part of the hill reduced me to a staggering mess, but I never had thoughts of quitting. Are you kidding? Amy could see me! I could not live with myself if I let myself just give in like that. I really focused on pulling myself up the hill (see, directing thoughts is important). And, I made it up every time. The only place a stuttered, sputtered, and faltered was at the bottom of the hill, deciding to start to run. I caught myself doing it on maybe Run 4 or 5. From there on out, every time I got to the bottom of the hill, I just repeated, "Don't think about it. Just do it."
It wasn't easy, but it blocked out all those thoughts that would have made completion impossible: "I'm tired, it's hot, I'm hungry, I have a block of food in my stomach, Is that heartburn? My throat's on fire. I have allergies. Isn't 15 enough? Why isn't it cooler out? Those guys think I'm a heifer. I'm gonna throw up. Well not really, but I might if I run that hill again."
Feelings really do follow thought, and as long as I kept my thoughts on Just do it, because time passes no matter what decision you make (so make the right one!), I was able to make that Run #20 up to the top of the hill and feel SUCCESS! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but chickened out. On my way back down, Amy met me and congratulated me on making it happen. And here's why I love her: She hugged me. She hugged me even though I was covered in sweat. Gotta love that lady.
Finally, I get to lesson #3.
Lesson #3: Everybody makes sacrifices. Just decide what sacrifice you're going to make.
For the past several days, I have walked around moaning in my head, "Oh, I wish that I could just eat whatever today. I wish I could eat like everybody else does." It was an automatic thought and completely did not take into consideration that for 30 years, I HAVE eaten like everyone else does, and it made me unhappy. Regardless, I continue.
That thought stopped dead in it's tracks today when I saw a woman pulling out of a parking lot while eating fast food. I'm not picking on anybody's size-God knows it's hard enough for women to feel good about themselves, I don't need to add to that-but I am saying that I would not choose to have that person's body. And then, DING! my A-ha moment! Every day that I'm walking around pouting and wishing I could EAT WHATEVER I WANTED...that used to be that every day I would walk around wishing I could WEAR WHATEVER I WANTED!
It stunned me that I never thought of this before. It is a sacrifice to give up indulging your every whim and desire when it comes to food and choosing not to exercise. It is also a sacrifice to give up feeling good about your body. For the past nine weeks, I've chosen my sacrifice. For the 30 years before that, I let the sacrifice choose me. I would bow to my cravings. I would skip working out. And that did not feel good. While it is difficult to choose to eat clean, it is definitely the choice I will continue to make. The rewards of choosing to sacrifice are a thousand times bigger and better than letting yourself eat whatever and work out whenever!
In fact, the only reward I can think of from eating whatever you want whenever you want is that painfully short period of time when you are putting the food in your mouth and tasting the first few bites. The feast is all in the first few bites. Every bite after that, you habituate to the taste, and it just isn't as exciting. And maybe another reward is the absence of wishing you could eat whatever. But that's about it.
The rewards of choosing to sacrifice eating whatever you want? Amazing! I'm noticing muscle tone in places I had no expectation of ever having! I finally have athletic calves! When I move my arms, I have muscles I can see moving in my chest! My shoulders have striations. I can wear sundresses! I am capable of doing things I never thought of! (like running up a hill 20 times), I am wearing a bikini this summer! I am learning self-discipline! I am sleeping better! I am taking MUCH better care of myself! I can go to California and feel like a California girl! I can go to the beach and wear a bikini and not be self-conscious! I am more confident! Yes...those results are way worth the occasional, "Wish I could have that, but it's not on my diet."
And that, my friends, is the end of the post about the lessons I've learned. I have one more day of eating clean and then my cheat day is on Sunday! And this week, I'm going to follow the guidelines! No repeat of eating 5 Guys at 8:30pm. That means slower results, and I work way too hard to slow down my results. :)
Now...for the visual rewards of time passing...
Here are the rest of the pics for this week.
1. Time passes, no matter what decision you make.
2. Don't think about it. Just do it. (Because time passes, no matter what decision you make.)
3. Everybody makes sacrifices, just choose the sacrifice you want to make. (Because time passes, no matter what decision you make.)
So, the first one is pretty almighty.
Lesson #1: Time passes, no matter what decision you make.
I've learned this through my diet, mostly. Every week, Monday comes hard and heavy. I start a brand new week, I re-start my diet, I take pictures, I take stock of where I'm at. Every Monday is harder to eat clean than every Saturday. It seems like such a struggle to get all my meals together. I yearn for something bad, like Taco Bell and their sorta-beef. It feels like I have such a long way to go.
Then Friday comes along and INEVITABLY, this thought crosses my mind: "Holy crap, it's Friday, and I ate clean all week! That happened fast!"
Of course on Friday, it feels like it happened fast. Those tiny moments where I think, "Hmmm, will it make a difference if I have just ONE MORE tablespoon of this crunchy, delicious peanut butter? It's clean food!", they've all but evaporated, and I am just left with results. Results of employing Lesson #2 (Don't think about it, just do it). That is, in those moments where I am torn between following the rules or slipping up just a little bit, I attempt to employ that lesson. I usually stop thinking about it, and just do it (which usually means, PUT THE PEANUT BUTTER DOWN!).
So, every week, I'm reminded that time passes. And rather quickly, at that. Actually, it flies. I can't believe I'm about to start Week 10 of this business. And with time passing, I've noticed that 31 years of my life have passed, and I've made decisions for 30 of them that were VERY different than the decisions I'm making today. In fact, this is the first time in my life I have successfully stayed on an eating plan. It's so easy to look back and realize that all those years that I thought I just wasn't going to be successful at getting the body that I want, that that was just not true. My impending success at seeing my belly muscles is simply the result of information, support, and making different decisions consistently (and drive, of course, you have to have a reason-I'll get to my reason later). And that gives you a little peek at Lesson #3 (Everybody makes sacrifices, just choose the sacrifice you want to make.).
I'm really glad I've been learning this "time passing" lesson because it comes in VERY HANDY when I'm working out. Amy has had me doing Bear Runs to really spike my heart rate and let it come down. From what I understand, the results of that kind of high intensity interval workout is a 36 hour calorie burn, lengthening of your mitochondria (which is basically a fountain of youth, keeps your metabolism up, helps with skin elasticity, and a whole host of other things I don't know about which probably includes "you will never die!"), and of course, whatever calories you burn in the session is also a result. The first time I did bear runs, I only did 10. (Bear Runs are little bursts of running as fast as you can for 30secs-like a bear is chasing you, REALLY chasing you, you're running for your life-and then recover, do it again as many times as you deem necessary.) That first try was pretty easy. I mean, I was tired afterward, but counting down from 10 is psychologically very easy. But this week, I had a goal of 20 bear runs, and that was a total mental challenge.
I got through it by reminding myself that I only has this set amount of time to work out. Plus, by the time I ran 10 bear runs (and rest periods) away from my house, I HAD to run back or I would be seriously late for work. So I just kept reminding myself that time was passing. I could either use that time to maximize the effects of my workout, after I had already worked SO HARD all week long to eat clean to make sure the workout counted. No matter what I did, time was tick-tick-ticking away. So I just dove in.
Tonight, I had the same experience, only it was So. Much. Harder.
See, my nutritionist/trainer/awesome support person Amy makes me feel like I have my own Biggest Loser show. You see, she checks in with me all the time, and the past couple of days, she asked about what I planned to do to workout each day. I hadn't been doing any strength-training, so she is building that in, but my standard response when I don't have a class at the gym is, "Oh, I just thought I'd do an easy half-hour run." Today, she played a fun game with me and asked me to pick a number between 10 and 20 (she's totally my Jillian and Bob!). So, of course, I pick 20. I can't not. She tells me that there is this hill near the gym that she wants me to run up and walk down 20 times. As you might imagine, this hill is no joke. It is short and steep. I'll admit, I was very daunted by the idea, but I thought, "As long as I get to walk down, I think I can manage."
She told me to bring my Ipod because it would be a tough mental challenge. She said that my glycogen stores would be depleted by the 3rd or 4th time I ran up it. That was a scary thought. I thought, "She thinks I'm way tougher than I am." But, nonetheless, I grabbed my stuff, headed to the gym, warmed up for 15 minutes on the elliptical, stretched and then started these runs. (I have to say, I had an advantage, because I was in bed sleeping most of the day-my workplace has this rampant mold problem, and it has been slowly wearing me down (allergies), but this week, the humidity has been so thick that I couldn't manage anymore. So, I was in bed, sleeping, waiting for my allergies to calm down since they were no longer exposed to the mold.)
So, I got started. It only helped that she happens to live on this hill, and told me she'd keep an eye out for me. The first run up, I thought, "Oh shit. I can't do this 19 more times." Then I remembered that time passes, and I only have to perform in the moment that I'm in. I walked down the hill. I started again. On my way back down, Amy stopped out to say hi, and that was very motivational. I knew she could see me running, so I wanted to do my very best. I ran up again. The third time I thought, "I am really in trouble here. It's HOT! I just don't know..." but I walked back down the hill.
Lesson #2: Don't think about it. Just do it.
I finally got into this agreement with myself that I would employ the lesson I've learned so thoroughly: "Don't think about it. Just do it." I can't tell you how many times I've heard this in yoga classes, pilates classes, spinning classes, you name it. Your brain senses pain when you're in yoga or struggle in your breath when you're running and it says, "OH MY GOD STOP YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!" I didn't finally understand how this trips you up until I was taking one of Kerry Bestwick's classes, and she had us doing one-legged squats on a Reformer machine and my leg was screaming in pain. I tried to squirm out of it anyway I could, and I remember so clearly she said (paraphrasing of course),
Kerry: "Is your leg telling a story? A story that it's going to fall off if you keep going?"
My thoughts: Why yes, as a matter of fact, I was pretty certain my leg was going to die and fall off if I kept going.
Kerry: "It's just a story your mind tells because it wants to stop, but your leg is not going to fall off. Trust me. It will just get stronger."
All of a sudden I had this epiphany that I TRULY believed my leg might fall off if I kept going. Part 2 of the epiphany: That thought isn't true! And this thought was what was keeping me from having the body I've always wanted: long, lean, and svelte (well, as much of that as you can get at 5'2"). Ever since then, I've tried to listen to hear where my brain is telling me to stop when my body can definitely handle more. Thoughts are important, and you should always try to direct them, but that's another topic for another day.
So, back to this running up a steep hill 20 times business. I found that the only time I struggled was starting again. I mean, don't get me wrong, the steepest part of the hill reduced me to a staggering mess, but I never had thoughts of quitting. Are you kidding? Amy could see me! I could not live with myself if I let myself just give in like that. I really focused on pulling myself up the hill (see, directing thoughts is important). And, I made it up every time. The only place a stuttered, sputtered, and faltered was at the bottom of the hill, deciding to start to run. I caught myself doing it on maybe Run 4 or 5. From there on out, every time I got to the bottom of the hill, I just repeated, "Don't think about it. Just do it."
It wasn't easy, but it blocked out all those thoughts that would have made completion impossible: "I'm tired, it's hot, I'm hungry, I have a block of food in my stomach, Is that heartburn? My throat's on fire. I have allergies. Isn't 15 enough? Why isn't it cooler out? Those guys think I'm a heifer. I'm gonna throw up. Well not really, but I might if I run that hill again."
Feelings really do follow thought, and as long as I kept my thoughts on Just do it, because time passes no matter what decision you make (so make the right one!), I was able to make that Run #20 up to the top of the hill and feel SUCCESS! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but chickened out. On my way back down, Amy met me and congratulated me on making it happen. And here's why I love her: She hugged me. She hugged me even though I was covered in sweat. Gotta love that lady.
Finally, I get to lesson #3.
Lesson #3: Everybody makes sacrifices. Just decide what sacrifice you're going to make.
For the past several days, I have walked around moaning in my head, "Oh, I wish that I could just eat whatever today. I wish I could eat like everybody else does." It was an automatic thought and completely did not take into consideration that for 30 years, I HAVE eaten like everyone else does, and it made me unhappy. Regardless, I continue.
That thought stopped dead in it's tracks today when I saw a woman pulling out of a parking lot while eating fast food. I'm not picking on anybody's size-God knows it's hard enough for women to feel good about themselves, I don't need to add to that-but I am saying that I would not choose to have that person's body. And then, DING! my A-ha moment! Every day that I'm walking around pouting and wishing I could EAT WHATEVER I WANTED...that used to be that every day I would walk around wishing I could WEAR WHATEVER I WANTED!
It stunned me that I never thought of this before. It is a sacrifice to give up indulging your every whim and desire when it comes to food and choosing not to exercise. It is also a sacrifice to give up feeling good about your body. For the past nine weeks, I've chosen my sacrifice. For the 30 years before that, I let the sacrifice choose me. I would bow to my cravings. I would skip working out. And that did not feel good. While it is difficult to choose to eat clean, it is definitely the choice I will continue to make. The rewards of choosing to sacrifice are a thousand times bigger and better than letting yourself eat whatever and work out whenever!
In fact, the only reward I can think of from eating whatever you want whenever you want is that painfully short period of time when you are putting the food in your mouth and tasting the first few bites. The feast is all in the first few bites. Every bite after that, you habituate to the taste, and it just isn't as exciting. And maybe another reward is the absence of wishing you could eat whatever. But that's about it.
The rewards of choosing to sacrifice eating whatever you want? Amazing! I'm noticing muscle tone in places I had no expectation of ever having! I finally have athletic calves! When I move my arms, I have muscles I can see moving in my chest! My shoulders have striations. I can wear sundresses! I am capable of doing things I never thought of! (like running up a hill 20 times), I am wearing a bikini this summer! I am learning self-discipline! I am sleeping better! I am taking MUCH better care of myself! I can go to California and feel like a California girl! I can go to the beach and wear a bikini and not be self-conscious! I am more confident! Yes...those results are way worth the occasional, "Wish I could have that, but it's not on my diet."
And that, my friends, is the end of the post about the lessons I've learned. I have one more day of eating clean and then my cheat day is on Sunday! And this week, I'm going to follow the guidelines! No repeat of eating 5 Guys at 8:30pm. That means slower results, and I work way too hard to slow down my results. :)
Now...for the visual rewards of time passing...
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| I forgot...tanning is a great way to notice how time passes too. :) |
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