So here it is, 10:47pm, and I'm not sleeping yet.
There are just not enough hours in a day.
Last night I didn't blog in exchange for going to bed ON TIME. Unfortunately, however, that did not happen. No, you see, I'll start here: I went to Amy Powell's killer HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) class after work. It is always a challenge, and I always wonder if I'm going to make it through the whole class, and I always do, it's just a serious accomplishment to complete the class.
I've really been working on my "fear of success" issue, so I caught myself petering out in class and thinking, "I can't do this" and I actually noticed the physical response my body had to that thought. So, several times, I had to tell myself encouraging things, like, "Yes you can. You are no different than any of the women in the class. You are even younger than some of them, so just do it. Stop thinking about it and just do it."
It worked. I really made it my focus to not cheat myself out of any of the workout. We did plank jacks, which I've mentioned before...they are really fun, if not totally challenging. You basically get in a plank position, with your legs spread wide, and you kind of jump off of the floor (like you would in a jumping jack) while pulling one knee to opposite elbow, then the other. So, you follow a jumping jack pattern. Start position, both toes on the ground, second position, jump toes off the ground, bring one foot to the center (like you're doing a jumping jack) and bring the other knee in to opposite elbow, then third position, bring both feet back out into plank, and then jump, bring one foot to the middle, and pull the other knee into opposite elbow. They're fun and I could do them to the beat of the music, but the first time around, I really felt myself petering out, so after that, I really took myself to task.
Anyway, we did a lot of stuff in that class, but I was really trying to work extra hard, because I hadn't spaced my meals in the most ideal of ways. I had last eaten at 12:30pm, and then got caught up in something at work and forgot/missed my meal at 3:30pm, right before I had to leave for the dentist. So, I microwaved my meal before heading out for my appointment (which would be my third meal, because I was running late for the day, just like every day the past 2 weeks), and headed out the door, figuring it wasn't going to get cold in this heat.
I went to my dentist's appointment and waited for 15 minutes (had I known that, I would have eaten my meal!), and then finally got to leave at 4:50pm or so. I drove to the gym and ate my dinner, still warm, in the car outside. I finished at 5:15pm and class started at 5:30pm. I knew that since I had literally just eaten, the class wasn't going to give me the best impact...ideally, I'd want to wait an hour or two after eating before working out, but you do what you can.
After class, I got this idea in my head that since I didn't have to work until 1pm the next day that I would stay at my friend's and take advantage of his pool in the morning. So I went home to prepare my meals for the next day, and didn't actually get to his place until 9:30pm. I still hadn't eaten.
I couldn't figure out if it was better to eat a last meal or skip it, but I figured since I had just worked out, I should eat. So I did, at 10pm.
I didn't end up falling asleep until 2am. I have a terrible time being realistic about how time passes. I somehow thought that I would just get there and watch a movie and be asleep by 11pm. No. I did not fall asleep until 2am, and right as I was falling asleep, my arm got very itchy in a specific spot, and I discovered that I had been bitten by a bed bug. A bed bug.
Have you ever tried to sleep in a bed that you know is infested with bed bugs? It's really not very likely to happen. Every little twitch, every little sensation-you think it's another bed bug. And their bites are so intolerably itchy! I was turning into a toddler with a hissy fit, so I decided I might as well drive home. I wouldn't be getting any sleep there anyway.
So I did. I got home at 3:11am, and slept until 9:30am because by that time, it had gotten SO HOT I couldn't sleep anymore. At the same time, I heard from Amy! She was curious about my weight, which got me excited thinking, "Things are going to start moving a lot faster now!"
My weight was at 137.2, which didn't surprise me, given the late meal and the class that I took with a full belly.
But, she said that she hopes to see 136 tomorrow, which would be INCREDIBLE! I'm totally rejuvenated after seeing what these cheat days do for you! It's kind of incredible. I found that if I totally contort my body, I can start to make out belly muscle definition. :) :) :)
It is so STRANGE to begin to approach a goal you've had for so long and failed at it that you began to think it was impossible. Now I'm finding it so possible that I can't believe I ever thought I couldn't do it!
And, can I just say: Holy hell I am sore! After the squat jump-squat jump-tuck jump-1/2 pushup-1/2 pushup-1/2 pushup routine she had us doing, my legs and glutes are toast. Which is awesome, because it means more lean muscle for more calorie burn! Thank You Amy!!!
So, my day today wasn't too bad.
Ate: 10am + Hulk Shake
Exercise: half-hearted attempt at raising my heart rate in the pool for a grand total of 5 min
Reward: Laid in sun/soaked in pool/took 5 min nap.
Ate: 1pm + Hulk Shake
Worked
Ate: 4:45ish + Hulk Shake
Worked
Ate 7:15ish (no Hulk Shake) Amy told me to try not to eat after 7pm, so I made quite the effort to get that Turkey burger and broccoli in at my very earliest convenience.
I must say, I have not had the courage/confidence to wear a bikini in public (or the opportunity, for that matter) in 4 years. The last time I did, it was while I was on vacation in Florida, and I figured, "I'll never see these people again, so I'll wear it and not worry about it." But today, I actually wore my bikini out to the pool. You'd think that it wouldn't be so difficult for me to do that since I've posted very bad pictures of myself all over the internet now...but I totally forgot about that. When I'm in the presence of other people in such a vulnerable state of feeling like maybe I shouldn't be wearing this, I'm (used to be, anyway) deathly afraid of the thoughts they might be thinking about me.
But today, I was less in my head about that, and more in the moment of enjoying the pool, and enjoying my new weight loss. I have officially lost almost 9 pounds since I first started. At the very start, I weighed 146.7lbs, but that was totally after pigging out the day before...and I think my true weight was around 145. So, if I'm at 137 now, I've lost somewhere between 8 and 9 pounds. WHICH IS AWESOME!
I'm also making headway on how to get to San Diego, California. Surprisingly, I'm finding I know quite a few people who have lived there, so I'm getting lots of ideas and suggestions. I need to take several steps in order to get there. The first of which entails managing my money a lot better, saving up at least 6 months of living expenses (San Diego living expenses), improving my credit score, and paying off as much debt as I possibly can.
My one co-worker was stationed in San Diego with the Navy for 11 years. I asked her if she'd ever thought about going back, and it literally took her breath away. She said, well, she stuttered and then said, "Look, you gave me goosebumps! Would I ever go back? In a heartbeat. In a millisecond. Without a second look or thought." Well. That answers that. And, she's a phenomenal money manager, so she's so super-helpful with realistic solutions to the fact that living there is expensive. She gave me some ideas to start with: go out with as little debt as humanly possible, bone up on your spanish, create a VAT board (whatever that means, she couldn't remember) where you list your goal, and then break down the several large steps you have to take to get there, and then break that down even further until they are actionable, and start checking them off. I plan on doing that tomorrow after work.
I'm also wondering how I should begin to learn Spanish. I pick up language fairly easily, so I'm wondering if I should invest in a college class of it, or if I should try to learn it on my own...I don't know. I'm also wondering if searching for a job out there (obviously not right away, but at least a year in the future) would be easier if I had a Master's degree, so I'm wondering what I should do career-wise. Would it be better to get more schooling, or more work experience? I'm leaning toward more work experience.
Well, anyway, it's now 11:28pm, and I must go to bed. Here's my parting shot to fall asleep to...
There are just not enough hours in a day.
Last night I didn't blog in exchange for going to bed ON TIME. Unfortunately, however, that did not happen. No, you see, I'll start here: I went to Amy Powell's killer HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) class after work. It is always a challenge, and I always wonder if I'm going to make it through the whole class, and I always do, it's just a serious accomplishment to complete the class.
I've really been working on my "fear of success" issue, so I caught myself petering out in class and thinking, "I can't do this" and I actually noticed the physical response my body had to that thought. So, several times, I had to tell myself encouraging things, like, "Yes you can. You are no different than any of the women in the class. You are even younger than some of them, so just do it. Stop thinking about it and just do it."
It worked. I really made it my focus to not cheat myself out of any of the workout. We did plank jacks, which I've mentioned before...they are really fun, if not totally challenging. You basically get in a plank position, with your legs spread wide, and you kind of jump off of the floor (like you would in a jumping jack) while pulling one knee to opposite elbow, then the other. So, you follow a jumping jack pattern. Start position, both toes on the ground, second position, jump toes off the ground, bring one foot to the center (like you're doing a jumping jack) and bring the other knee in to opposite elbow, then third position, bring both feet back out into plank, and then jump, bring one foot to the middle, and pull the other knee into opposite elbow. They're fun and I could do them to the beat of the music, but the first time around, I really felt myself petering out, so after that, I really took myself to task.
Anyway, we did a lot of stuff in that class, but I was really trying to work extra hard, because I hadn't spaced my meals in the most ideal of ways. I had last eaten at 12:30pm, and then got caught up in something at work and forgot/missed my meal at 3:30pm, right before I had to leave for the dentist. So, I microwaved my meal before heading out for my appointment (which would be my third meal, because I was running late for the day, just like every day the past 2 weeks), and headed out the door, figuring it wasn't going to get cold in this heat.
I went to my dentist's appointment and waited for 15 minutes (had I known that, I would have eaten my meal!), and then finally got to leave at 4:50pm or so. I drove to the gym and ate my dinner, still warm, in the car outside. I finished at 5:15pm and class started at 5:30pm. I knew that since I had literally just eaten, the class wasn't going to give me the best impact...ideally, I'd want to wait an hour or two after eating before working out, but you do what you can.
After class, I got this idea in my head that since I didn't have to work until 1pm the next day that I would stay at my friend's and take advantage of his pool in the morning. So I went home to prepare my meals for the next day, and didn't actually get to his place until 9:30pm. I still hadn't eaten.
I couldn't figure out if it was better to eat a last meal or skip it, but I figured since I had just worked out, I should eat. So I did, at 10pm.
I didn't end up falling asleep until 2am. I have a terrible time being realistic about how time passes. I somehow thought that I would just get there and watch a movie and be asleep by 11pm. No. I did not fall asleep until 2am, and right as I was falling asleep, my arm got very itchy in a specific spot, and I discovered that I had been bitten by a bed bug. A bed bug.
Have you ever tried to sleep in a bed that you know is infested with bed bugs? It's really not very likely to happen. Every little twitch, every little sensation-you think it's another bed bug. And their bites are so intolerably itchy! I was turning into a toddler with a hissy fit, so I decided I might as well drive home. I wouldn't be getting any sleep there anyway.
So I did. I got home at 3:11am, and slept until 9:30am because by that time, it had gotten SO HOT I couldn't sleep anymore. At the same time, I heard from Amy! She was curious about my weight, which got me excited thinking, "Things are going to start moving a lot faster now!"
My weight was at 137.2, which didn't surprise me, given the late meal and the class that I took with a full belly.
But, she said that she hopes to see 136 tomorrow, which would be INCREDIBLE! I'm totally rejuvenated after seeing what these cheat days do for you! It's kind of incredible. I found that if I totally contort my body, I can start to make out belly muscle definition. :) :) :)
It is so STRANGE to begin to approach a goal you've had for so long and failed at it that you began to think it was impossible. Now I'm finding it so possible that I can't believe I ever thought I couldn't do it!
And, can I just say: Holy hell I am sore! After the squat jump-squat jump-tuck jump-1/2 pushup-1/2 pushup-1/2 pushup routine she had us doing, my legs and glutes are toast. Which is awesome, because it means more lean muscle for more calorie burn! Thank You Amy!!!
So, my day today wasn't too bad.
Ate: 10am + Hulk Shake
Exercise: half-hearted attempt at raising my heart rate in the pool for a grand total of 5 min
Reward: Laid in sun/soaked in pool/took 5 min nap.
Ate: 1pm + Hulk Shake
Worked
Ate: 4:45ish + Hulk Shake
Worked
Ate 7:15ish (no Hulk Shake) Amy told me to try not to eat after 7pm, so I made quite the effort to get that Turkey burger and broccoli in at my very earliest convenience.
I must say, I have not had the courage/confidence to wear a bikini in public (or the opportunity, for that matter) in 4 years. The last time I did, it was while I was on vacation in Florida, and I figured, "I'll never see these people again, so I'll wear it and not worry about it." But today, I actually wore my bikini out to the pool. You'd think that it wouldn't be so difficult for me to do that since I've posted very bad pictures of myself all over the internet now...but I totally forgot about that. When I'm in the presence of other people in such a vulnerable state of feeling like maybe I shouldn't be wearing this, I'm (used to be, anyway) deathly afraid of the thoughts they might be thinking about me.
But today, I was less in my head about that, and more in the moment of enjoying the pool, and enjoying my new weight loss. I have officially lost almost 9 pounds since I first started. At the very start, I weighed 146.7lbs, but that was totally after pigging out the day before...and I think my true weight was around 145. So, if I'm at 137 now, I've lost somewhere between 8 and 9 pounds. WHICH IS AWESOME!
I'm also making headway on how to get to San Diego, California. Surprisingly, I'm finding I know quite a few people who have lived there, so I'm getting lots of ideas and suggestions. I need to take several steps in order to get there. The first of which entails managing my money a lot better, saving up at least 6 months of living expenses (San Diego living expenses), improving my credit score, and paying off as much debt as I possibly can.
My one co-worker was stationed in San Diego with the Navy for 11 years. I asked her if she'd ever thought about going back, and it literally took her breath away. She said, well, she stuttered and then said, "Look, you gave me goosebumps! Would I ever go back? In a heartbeat. In a millisecond. Without a second look or thought." Well. That answers that. And, she's a phenomenal money manager, so she's so super-helpful with realistic solutions to the fact that living there is expensive. She gave me some ideas to start with: go out with as little debt as humanly possible, bone up on your spanish, create a VAT board (whatever that means, she couldn't remember) where you list your goal, and then break down the several large steps you have to take to get there, and then break that down even further until they are actionable, and start checking them off. I plan on doing that tomorrow after work.
I'm also wondering how I should begin to learn Spanish. I pick up language fairly easily, so I'm wondering if I should invest in a college class of it, or if I should try to learn it on my own...I don't know. I'm also wondering if searching for a job out there (obviously not right away, but at least a year in the future) would be easier if I had a Master's degree, so I'm wondering what I should do career-wise. Would it be better to get more schooling, or more work experience? I'm leaning toward more work experience.
Well, anyway, it's now 11:28pm, and I must go to bed. Here's my parting shot to fall asleep to...
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