It sucks to be hungry all day long!
It is currently 8:21pm, and I have been hungry--despite eating my (close to) 1500 calories--All. Day. Long.
I don't know why, but I just didn't expect it to be this hard.
Although I must say, I was VERY happy with my weight on the scale this morning, but I cannot disclose my weight until it has been 7 days on the plan, in case it just stays where it's at today. Still. Very exciting.
I woke up, and the moment consciousness hit me, my carnal body jolted awake with, "FOOD! NOW!" I was actually far more interested in food than in weighing myself, which totally surprised me.
At 8:00am, I ate my 2 eggs, toast and peanut butter, and it was heavenly with my coffee, which I enjoyed outside. Then, I went to work.
At 10am, I was really hoping it was time to eat my apple-pistachio snack. No. Not until 4 hours after I ate breakfast. Which is two hours away. TWO HOURS.
At this point, I noticed that I was having a hard time concentrating. My energy seemed low. I wanted to sleep on my desk. Was I tired from lack of sleep or just from not being used to this lower calorie intake? I have to say, I did NOT think a 1500 calorie diet would be difficult to maintain.
At 11:30am, I broke down and had my apple and pistachios, and felt almost NO alleviation from the hunger. I tried to wait 4 hours for my next meal, but I just couldn't do it.
At 2:30pm, I ate my entire salad, which today was 653 calories because I put less almonds in it.
I TRIED to save my strawberries and whipped cream for AFTER the gym, but I failed. I COULD NOT IMAGINE trying to survive an Amy Powell class with the low energy and hunger pains I was feeling. I did have temporary relief from the hunger for possibly 20 minutes. My snack was only 150 calories.
Five o'clock rolled around VERY shortly after that, and it hit me that I had been having trouble concentrating the ENTIRE DAY. Surely, I thought, I'm doing something wrong. It doesn't make sense to be this hungry. Or does it? I guess I WOULD be hungry if I'm changing what my body is used to consuming. To make today worse, I didn't even make up for the calories I didn't eat YESTERDAY! So...doesn't it make sense for there to be some discomfort?
Or, what if I am going into the dreaded "starvation mode"?!?!?!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh sure. Anything to let me eat something.
Anyway, with fear in my heart, I went to the Amy Powell class that I knew was going to test my limits.
I felt shaky and weak and goddamn irritable, if you must know, but I was gonna do it.
Class started at 5:30pm, and five minutes in I thought, "Oh, My god. I am going to have to leave this class. I simply do not have the energy to do this."
For a run down of what an Amy Class is like, she does TONS of jumping. We start out with vertical jumps, then rocket launchers (jumping from a squat and doing mini jumps in-between those jumps), and the class just goes on with a "Dynamic" circuit that I can't even remember because you have to be in another state of mind to complete it. Something like...starting with vertical jumps...something else....rocket launchers, Can-Can for abs (in position to walk like a crab, but kick your legs upward, alternately), The Exercise That Shall Not Be Named (burpees. directly from voldemort):
and more jumping exercises ensue. Sweat was just running off of my face. I still felt weak and low energy.
Ten minutes in, I began to wonder how much of this was a state of mind. Yes I feel hungry, and I don't like that, but is it REALLY keeping me from performing at the level I usually perform at?
I thought of people who had worked out fatigued/hungry before and Portia de Rossi popped into my brain. The woman was running on a treadmill while eating 300 calories a day, and she wasn't complaining about feeling weak and low energy!
Ok, I know that's a terrible analogy. She was also very, very sick, and disconnected from her bodily feelings.
But, I thought, eating 1500 calories/day shouldn't be keeping me from completing this workout. So I stayed. I stayed until the bitter end.
Mainly, I stayed because I didn't have the courage to leave. I knew in my heart of hearts it would not be because I COULDN'T do it, but because I chose not to. And I also knew that every other woman in that class knew it too, and the fear of being outed (that's an interesting word choice! I must believe that I am a quitter, loser, and just plain weak-willed and other people will find it out, as opposed to be LABELED INCORRECTLY. Wow. I'm working on it). Anyway, the fear of being outed as a quitter, loser, or just plain weak-willed way outweighed suffering through the class. After all, one of my biggest 'WHY's for this whole project is to feel successful at something difficult.
Every time Amy would yell out the next move, I was crying inside. No! Please God No! I cannot do ONE MORE BURPEE!
And then, Amy said, "Don't make it harder than it is. Just do it. Just get it over with. One at a time."
I realized that I WAS making this harder than it had to be by crying on the inside. Didn't I WANT a hard workout? Didn't I WANT to burn calories? Don't I have a goal of burning 87,500 calories so I can lose 25 pounds? Don't I SPECIFICALLY go to this class because it's a challenge!!!?
YES.
So, I sucked it up and made my pushups count. Not every rep looked good, and I definitely cheated, and I definitely did less than Amy asked, but I didn't give up. And I really wanted to give up. I really wanted to walk out the door, saying, "I can't."
I am proud to say I didn't give up. I didn't quit. I didn't act like a loser. I wasn't weak-willed. It required a LOT of will to stay in that class. So I can confidently say that I am something other than a weak-willed loser/quitter. I am a strong-willed, determined winner who will not stop until she accomplishes this goal. I will overcome these mental/emotional blocks. And I will be able to wear a bikini and feel good in it. Hopefully by Labor Day weekend.
Halfway through the class I thought, "I should ask Amy if it is normal to feel this way." Which was immediately followed by my inner sheer panic diva: "NO! YOU ARE YOUR OWN EXPERT! DO NOT MAKE IT AMY'S RESPONSIBILITY TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT!"
Which was followed a few minutes later by my inner cranky wise woman: "YOU ARE NOT AN ISLAND! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE, AND FURTHERMORE YOU WON'T DO IT ALONE! YOU WILL LEAN ON PEOPLE OR ELSE YOU PROBABLY WON'T SUCCEED!!! GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME WHEN I SPEAK??? (and then more calmly) It is OK to ask Amy if this is normal and if she has any guidance for you. You're welcome."
So, after the class, still dripping sweat, but trying to keep it under control, I asked Amy if she still did consulting, because another classmate recommended her to me (6 months ago). I didn't want to ask for her help without offering compensation. She was so sweet. I was petrified of taking up her time, just because I imagine that she wants to LEAVE after the class is over. And I was worried about how annoying it could be to be bombarded with people after class. So, I tried to keep it short and sweet and make it really clear that I intended to pay her for her help.
She really just wanted to help and didn't even discuss cost. I told her about feeling low energy/weak, and she asked about calorie intake and told me to email her a food journal for the past 2-3 days. She also said that 1500 calories didn't concern her, and I probably just needed to tweak something. She also said it can be "typical" (I don't think she meant normal) to feel weak and low energy on the first couple days of a diet with less calories. That statement was the only thing between me and all the food in my home. Thank you Amy. Because of you, I stayed on track for day 2.
Completing her request was super-easy, since I already had it completely written out and measured. Yay me!
I would imagine that since I totally didn't follow the macronutrient recommendations (I don't think I did, anyway), she'll probably tell me to eat more bread and protein.
Since my day is finally over, I'm just going to go to bed and get some sleep to avoid this hunger. I'm excited to see what the scale will say tomorrow. After making it through two days of this, I feel pretty confident that I will see the 130's soon. I haven't seen them in a long time. And it just occurred to me that I will even see the 120's soon...provided I follow my plan and get the guidance I need!
This is truly quite exciting.
It is currently 8:21pm, and I have been hungry--despite eating my (close to) 1500 calories--All. Day. Long.
I don't know why, but I just didn't expect it to be this hard.
Although I must say, I was VERY happy with my weight on the scale this morning, but I cannot disclose my weight until it has been 7 days on the plan, in case it just stays where it's at today. Still. Very exciting.
I woke up, and the moment consciousness hit me, my carnal body jolted awake with, "FOOD! NOW!" I was actually far more interested in food than in weighing myself, which totally surprised me.
At 8:00am, I ate my 2 eggs, toast and peanut butter, and it was heavenly with my coffee, which I enjoyed outside. Then, I went to work.
At 10am, I was really hoping it was time to eat my apple-pistachio snack. No. Not until 4 hours after I ate breakfast. Which is two hours away. TWO HOURS.
At this point, I noticed that I was having a hard time concentrating. My energy seemed low. I wanted to sleep on my desk. Was I tired from lack of sleep or just from not being used to this lower calorie intake? I have to say, I did NOT think a 1500 calorie diet would be difficult to maintain.
At 11:30am, I broke down and had my apple and pistachios, and felt almost NO alleviation from the hunger. I tried to wait 4 hours for my next meal, but I just couldn't do it.
At 2:30pm, I ate my entire salad, which today was 653 calories because I put less almonds in it.
I TRIED to save my strawberries and whipped cream for AFTER the gym, but I failed. I COULD NOT IMAGINE trying to survive an Amy Powell class with the low energy and hunger pains I was feeling. I did have temporary relief from the hunger for possibly 20 minutes. My snack was only 150 calories.
Five o'clock rolled around VERY shortly after that, and it hit me that I had been having trouble concentrating the ENTIRE DAY. Surely, I thought, I'm doing something wrong. It doesn't make sense to be this hungry. Or does it? I guess I WOULD be hungry if I'm changing what my body is used to consuming. To make today worse, I didn't even make up for the calories I didn't eat YESTERDAY! So...doesn't it make sense for there to be some discomfort?
Or, what if I am going into the dreaded "starvation mode"?!?!?!??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh sure. Anything to let me eat something.
Anyway, with fear in my heart, I went to the Amy Powell class that I knew was going to test my limits.
I felt shaky and weak and goddamn irritable, if you must know, but I was gonna do it.
Class started at 5:30pm, and five minutes in I thought, "Oh, My god. I am going to have to leave this class. I simply do not have the energy to do this."
For a run down of what an Amy Class is like, she does TONS of jumping. We start out with vertical jumps, then rocket launchers (jumping from a squat and doing mini jumps in-between those jumps), and the class just goes on with a "Dynamic" circuit that I can't even remember because you have to be in another state of mind to complete it. Something like...starting with vertical jumps...something else....rocket launchers, Can-Can for abs (in position to walk like a crab, but kick your legs upward, alternately), The Exercise That Shall Not Be Named (burpees. directly from voldemort):
 |
| You start in a standing position, jump, get down to plank, do a pushup, hop in, stand up. Repeat until you die. |
Ten minutes in, I began to wonder how much of this was a state of mind. Yes I feel hungry, and I don't like that, but is it REALLY keeping me from performing at the level I usually perform at?
I thought of people who had worked out fatigued/hungry before and Portia de Rossi popped into my brain. The woman was running on a treadmill while eating 300 calories a day, and she wasn't complaining about feeling weak and low energy!
Ok, I know that's a terrible analogy. She was also very, very sick, and disconnected from her bodily feelings.
But, I thought, eating 1500 calories/day shouldn't be keeping me from completing this workout. So I stayed. I stayed until the bitter end.
Mainly, I stayed because I didn't have the courage to leave. I knew in my heart of hearts it would not be because I COULDN'T do it, but because I chose not to. And I also knew that every other woman in that class knew it too, and the fear of being outed (that's an interesting word choice! I must believe that I am a quitter, loser, and just plain weak-willed and other people will find it out, as opposed to be LABELED INCORRECTLY. Wow. I'm working on it). Anyway, the fear of being outed as a quitter, loser, or just plain weak-willed way outweighed suffering through the class. After all, one of my biggest 'WHY's for this whole project is to feel successful at something difficult.
Every time Amy would yell out the next move, I was crying inside. No! Please God No! I cannot do ONE MORE BURPEE!
And then, Amy said, "Don't make it harder than it is. Just do it. Just get it over with. One at a time."
I realized that I WAS making this harder than it had to be by crying on the inside. Didn't I WANT a hard workout? Didn't I WANT to burn calories? Don't I have a goal of burning 87,500 calories so I can lose 25 pounds? Don't I SPECIFICALLY go to this class because it's a challenge!!!?
YES.
So, I sucked it up and made my pushups count. Not every rep looked good, and I definitely cheated, and I definitely did less than Amy asked, but I didn't give up. And I really wanted to give up. I really wanted to walk out the door, saying, "I can't."
I am proud to say I didn't give up. I didn't quit. I didn't act like a loser. I wasn't weak-willed. It required a LOT of will to stay in that class. So I can confidently say that I am something other than a weak-willed loser/quitter. I am a strong-willed, determined winner who will not stop until she accomplishes this goal. I will overcome these mental/emotional blocks. And I will be able to wear a bikini and feel good in it. Hopefully by Labor Day weekend.
Halfway through the class I thought, "I should ask Amy if it is normal to feel this way." Which was immediately followed by my inner sheer panic diva: "NO! YOU ARE YOUR OWN EXPERT! DO NOT MAKE IT AMY'S RESPONSIBILITY TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT!"
Which was followed a few minutes later by my inner cranky wise woman: "YOU ARE NOT AN ISLAND! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE, AND FURTHERMORE YOU WON'T DO IT ALONE! YOU WILL LEAN ON PEOPLE OR ELSE YOU PROBABLY WON'T SUCCEED!!! GOD, DO YOU HEAR ME WHEN I SPEAK??? (and then more calmly) It is OK to ask Amy if this is normal and if she has any guidance for you. You're welcome."
So, after the class, still dripping sweat, but trying to keep it under control, I asked Amy if she still did consulting, because another classmate recommended her to me (6 months ago). I didn't want to ask for her help without offering compensation. She was so sweet. I was petrified of taking up her time, just because I imagine that she wants to LEAVE after the class is over. And I was worried about how annoying it could be to be bombarded with people after class. So, I tried to keep it short and sweet and make it really clear that I intended to pay her for her help.
She really just wanted to help and didn't even discuss cost. I told her about feeling low energy/weak, and she asked about calorie intake and told me to email her a food journal for the past 2-3 days. She also said that 1500 calories didn't concern her, and I probably just needed to tweak something. She also said it can be "typical" (I don't think she meant normal) to feel weak and low energy on the first couple days of a diet with less calories. That statement was the only thing between me and all the food in my home. Thank you Amy. Because of you, I stayed on track for day 2.
Completing her request was super-easy, since I already had it completely written out and measured. Yay me!
I would imagine that since I totally didn't follow the macronutrient recommendations (I don't think I did, anyway), she'll probably tell me to eat more bread and protein.
Since my day is finally over, I'm just going to go to bed and get some sleep to avoid this hunger. I'm excited to see what the scale will say tomorrow. After making it through two days of this, I feel pretty confident that I will see the 130's soon. I haven't seen them in a long time. And it just occurred to me that I will even see the 120's soon...provided I follow my plan and get the guidance I need!
This is truly quite exciting.
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