Week 3, Day 5. This is amazing.

Soon, I will have pictures.

And I'm so excited about it!!!

Today, I am feeling stronger than ever about my ability to make good choices! Now, it may be that the stress level in my life has decreased dramatically, but if this is the effect, then I need to make sure I keep it that way, if at all possible!

I had a great day today. I didn't struggle at all. I treated myself to a cup of coffee this morning, and I had my iced tea I'm allowed to have.  I did really want a second one after dinner, because it was so hot and humid, but I decided against it.

I was pumped full of energy all day long. That's the huge benefit to making those sacrifices and making hard decisions. You feel amazing and you are far more productive. At leat I am. I was so wired, I'm surprised no one told me to take a few laps around the building at work.

At 5:00pm, I did my lifting. And I did a damn solid job too! Even the muscle guys were like "Wow, you are WORKING IT, GIRL!"

Ok, I made that up. But I DID work it, for the record.

I ate clean. I even ate raw veggies! Yummy cucumbers.
I kept my portions under control.

I didn't let mindless eating happen.  Even though I had the impossible-to-resist, have-eaten-the-entire-container-in-one-day ROASTED SALTED ALMONDS. They are like potato chips to me. Can't have just one.

Right now, I could be doing some much-needed work, but instead I'm taking a breather. Today went by in a flash. I did A LOT. Now I need to allow some relaxation.

But as I reflect on my day, I had this awesome experience to share.  While I was lifting, my clothes did their magic trick where I look a lot skinnier when I finish. I honestly think that you sweat and your clothes start to loosen or something. I really LOOK different...OR my brain is screwing with me. Either way, I like it.

Anyway, while that "Look, all of a sudden I'm svelte!" was happening, I was stretching my triceps and realized, "Oh my god. This is really happening. I can see me in a bikini. And looking good!  I am really going to rock a bikini this summer!"

Wow, so many negative thoughts just came up when I thought it just now. At the gym, there was no doubt. This. Is. Really. Happening.

I am no longer a person who can't follow through, who makes excuses, who doesn't believe in her own ability. This is really happening. I know what to do and how to do it. I know where to go if I'm stuck.

And I know I deserve to look my personal best, regardless if that makes me someone who is bending to the conventional standards of beauty. I deserve to be able to wear whatever I want. And I'm the only one who can decide if that happens.

I'll have all of 80 and beyond to be invisible. I don't have to be invisible right now, and I refuse to be. In fact, I plan on standing out and getting noticed and when I do, I will look damn good.

For some reason, I believe that mastering my physical fitness is the first step, or critical, or SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT to something I'm going to be doing soon. I don't know what that is, but it's always seemed that way to me.

I just have to channel that certainty on Tuesday morning at the Nature Inn when I want to have their breakfast buffet.

Now, I COULD start my cheat day Tuesday morning, and that way I could just have their breakfast, no guilt. But I worry that it won't be that good.

But maybe that's exactly what I'll do. But if I do that, I'm at the mercy of what they offer. And what if it's not as good as waffle shop???

Oh. But if I have my cheat day Monday, then I have to get up and do an interval workout when I will want to be relaxing.  And I shouldn't make it MORE difficult to do intervals by being in a new place without access to gym equipment, while I want to be relaxing.

If I eat clean Monday...well that shouldn't be too hard. I can bring my food.

Ooooh, and that means I will do intervals BEFORE breakfast AND Amy's class at 5:30pm. Too much? Nah. I have totally got this. I will burn through lots of fat and hopefully reset my set point!!!

Well. Looks like Waffle Shop will have to be my treat next week. But I can have waffles and french toast in the inn on Tuesday morning!!!

I was going to bring wine for Monday night, but I don't need it, and it was really just a luxury thing. The image or idea of relaxing on the patio with a glass of wine. The reality is, I'll probably get drunk and throw all my body systems off and regret it anyway.

So. It's decided. Wish me luck!