I also must say...quickly since it is 11pm and I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago...that all day long yesterday, and towards the evening tonight, I was having a really hard time staying on track. I kept having this nagging thought that "I've hit a plateau. Something has to change. If I don't do something different, I'm going to do all this work and nothing is going to change." I know exactly why I was discouraged, and it's exactly what Amy and other people told me: "DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF EVERY DAY." DON'T DO IT.
DO YOU HEAR ME? DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF EVERYDAY WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BY BUILDING LEAN MUSCLE! IT TELLS YOU NOTHING.
I've been hovering around 140-141 ever since the first week I started this, and I keep wanting to be UNDER 140...especially for my birthday which is tomorrow, because then I will *feel* like I am making progress.
Well fuck that! DID YOU SEE MY BACK PICTURES??? HELLO! I'M MAKING PROGRESS AND I DON'T NEED NUMBERS ON A SCALE TO TELL ME THAT!
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I am so happy with these pictures, and it just tells me to keep doing my best every. single. day.
And here I was today, all feeling sorry for myself, wanting to go back to the ways I had been eating (the urge has been really strong lately), and then I see these pictures, and I'm like...NO WAY HAVE I HIT A PLATEAU.
Even my MEASUREMENTS are the same for the past three weeks, so I didn't even bother to put them up here. Clearly I wasn't able to measure where I was losing the fat. I am so excited about this.
I do have to say, I've hit almost a month of "eating clean" and eating 4 or 5 meals every day (it's really difficult for me to get 5 meals in, but by gawd, I will do my very very best to keep trying!), and I think my brain patterns are kicking in and saying, "Hey! HEY! HELLOOOOO! Remember us? We like Panera, and bread, and cheeseburgers, and ice cream, and WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU GIVING US SOME???"
So, the last couple of days have really been a matter of convincing myself that there are bigger reasons than the ones I could come up with in the craving to NOT eat the tempting food. All I could think at the time was, "I don't KNOW why you can't have the blueberry muffin! I just know you CAN'T!" I had some pretty powerful cravings. When they were over, I'd remember that I couldn't have the blueberry muffin because I am trying to adopt a whole new pattern of eating habits. And they don't include succumbing to every delicious thing in sight.
I'm not there yet, but I am definitely making progress.
I couldn't blog for the past couple of days because I took my kitty down to visit my friend Linsey for the night, and didn't get back until late the next night. But I'm back on, baby!
Now. To bed.
Oh, and read this:
Amy gave it to me so I could better understand healthy eating habits. Also, she passed onto me some Yerba Mate Chocolate tea, and some Yerba Mate Mint tea, and some Numi tea, and some Tulsi tea, that are all DELICIOUS, some of them have a little caffeine in them that I can drink in the morning (thank you sweet baby jesus!), and some are just for relaxing at night.
Of course I stocked up on the chocolate and the mint for now. Wegman's sells them.
Ok, NOW I'm going to bed.
Plan for tomorrow...get up at 6:00am? Yeah, no. It's 11:18. I'll get up at 7/7:30am, do my bear runs, and then eat by 8/8:30. I have Little Miss Maybelle's first vet visit tomorrow, and then I work (on my birthday!) from 4-9:30, so it will have to be ok that I get a slightly later start on the day.
Oh, and I've been SUPER hungry when I only eat 4 meals. Tonight, I was so hungry after my last meal that I couldn't even help myself from eating 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. And, I figured, if I wanted it that badly, it can't be TOO terrible...only thing was, it was with my last meal. So, had I eaten more earlier in the day, I wouldn't have felt that way.
Ok. Goodnight. Enjoy the pics.
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