So, in checking on my blog, I find that July 16th was the last time I wrote. And that I wasn't taking good care of myself then either.
Since then, I was convinced that my wisdom teeth were trying to make their way into my gums by breaking my other teeth, except for about 90 seconds in Wegman's when I was (I kid you not) certain I actually had a brain tumor and not long to live. Then I thought, "Maybe I should try those anxiety meds again..."
Anyway, long story short, my wisdom teeth are happily embedded in my jaw, and I hope they stay there. It turns out that the jaw pain I was having was probably due to me grinding my teeth. Which was probably due to the high levels of stress I've been experiencing. The high levels doesn't mean that anything in my life has changed, it means I wasn't using my primary method of relieving those high levels, which is EXERCISE, and eating well, and you know, sleeping. So, my stress just built and built and built. I was also dealing with allergies, which I think are responsible for at least the earaches and maybe the headaches, but who knows. Since I wasn't exercising, I was certainly drinking. And THAT'S always a good idea (<---sarcasm).
I tried to eat clean. I would wake up every morning and make myself a clean breakfast. But between the jaw pain, headaches, and general irritation, by 12pm, I was having Wegman's or something. And then I felt even worse, and didn't want to exercise. The list goes on.
I still have the headache. I really need some time off.
But, I don't have time off. Yet. Time off starts August 22.
In the meantime, I've tried to get back to that place where I was so determined. I remember fighting through caffeine headaches, and JUST DOING IT. Just eat at 7am. No matter what. Just eat at 10am, 12:30pm, 3:30pm and hopefully by 6:30, but close to it at least. And exercise. Every single day.
I forgot how to motivate my elephant. I had a little glimpse of it today. I saw someone wearing clothes that looked beautiful on her. I have been squeezing into my clothes these days. It sucks. I hate it. But, today, I was so proud and felt so accomplished that I might just want to keep this ball rolling.
So, that being said, it's 11:07pm, and I had every intention of being in bed by 9pm. In order to not fail that goal any further, I'm concluding and going to bed.
Since then, I was convinced that my wisdom teeth were trying to make their way into my gums by breaking my other teeth, except for about 90 seconds in Wegman's when I was (I kid you not) certain I actually had a brain tumor and not long to live. Then I thought, "Maybe I should try those anxiety meds again..."
Anyway, long story short, my wisdom teeth are happily embedded in my jaw, and I hope they stay there. It turns out that the jaw pain I was having was probably due to me grinding my teeth. Which was probably due to the high levels of stress I've been experiencing. The high levels doesn't mean that anything in my life has changed, it means I wasn't using my primary method of relieving those high levels, which is EXERCISE, and eating well, and you know, sleeping. So, my stress just built and built and built. I was also dealing with allergies, which I think are responsible for at least the earaches and maybe the headaches, but who knows. Since I wasn't exercising, I was certainly drinking. And THAT'S always a good idea (<---sarcasm).
I tried to eat clean. I would wake up every morning and make myself a clean breakfast. But between the jaw pain, headaches, and general irritation, by 12pm, I was having Wegman's or something. And then I felt even worse, and didn't want to exercise. The list goes on.
I still have the headache. I really need some time off.
But, I don't have time off. Yet. Time off starts August 22.
In the meantime, I've tried to get back to that place where I was so determined. I remember fighting through caffeine headaches, and JUST DOING IT. Just eat at 7am. No matter what. Just eat at 10am, 12:30pm, 3:30pm and hopefully by 6:30, but close to it at least. And exercise. Every single day.
I forgot how to motivate my elephant. I had a little glimpse of it today. I saw someone wearing clothes that looked beautiful on her. I have been squeezing into my clothes these days. It sucks. I hate it. But, today, I was so proud and felt so accomplished that I might just want to keep this ball rolling.
So, that being said, it's 11:07pm, and I had every intention of being in bed by 9pm. In order to not fail that goal any further, I'm concluding and going to bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment