Pre-plan stages

So the holidays are here and I took a trip home, which usually throws my whole schedule off. Between sleeping, eating, writing, and exercising, there just isn't a whole lot I do well when I'm at home. Plus I tend to have a couple of drinks here and there. 

So today was my first full day back in my own town, back to work at my full time and part-time job. 

I didn't have high expectations for mysf because I didn't prep any food. 

However, I am pretty proud of myself for simply exercising the ability to make choices. I read something in a Brian Tracy book this morning that really helped. I'll share that sometime, but not tonight. 

Today, my little victories were making good choices when it would have been SO EASY to fall into my familiar pattern of eating for comfort. But I didn't do it. And, I chose not to have any alcohol. Two wins!

Well, I guess I did eat a little bit for comfort today. Just for honesty's sake, I'll ADMIT to what I ate. 

9am Panera blueberry bagel and cream cheese with coffee (milk and one sugar)

2pm slice of turkey, cup+ of green beans and cup+ of Mac and cheese--all from Wegmans. Yep...it was a compromise because I chose the turkey and green beans instead of the soup and pizza. The unfortunate thing was that it wasn't enough food and I stated hungry after I ate. So I had a chocolate. And dealt with the hunger.  I was surprised at how intolerable I found it. Eventually, I remembered I would be ok.

5pm Green Bowl. 3oz pork, spinach, squash, mushrooms, onion, broccoli, carrots, one scoop pineapple curry, one scoop teriyaki, one scoop sesame oil. 1 cup brown rice. Yum. 

7:30pm 3oz chicken, spinach, carrots, squash, mushrooms, broccoli, kidney beans, one scoop sesame oil, 1/2 cup white rice

10:30pn two chocolate peanut butter meltaways. Mmmmmmm. 

Anyway. I still need to create a plan and get ready for it...well by Sunday I need to be ready for WEEK ONE!

Kickoff 2014

My very first video!  This is so much fun!
Here's what I'm working on for today:
My meal plan/calorie plan and how it progressively gets cleaner.
My daily routine/checklist.
My goals:  fitness (unassisted pull-ups, for sure!); body fat; diet compliance.
Also, some R&R with my Martha Beck books. :)

Week 1, Day 6

I'm absolutely beat, so I'm not going to say much except that I remembered some key mental things that will help me stay on track. Mainly, that experiencing failure is not the same as BEING a failure. I think I've been taking that on as an identity for a long time. One behavior change that I came up with out of this realization is that in stead of calling it "going off plan" when I want to cheat otherwise do things that take me further away from my goal... I decided that instead I will call it "reverting" so that I remember exactly what it means. This is not an on-plan, off-plan operation. This is my new life. And I choose it. 

Week 1 Day 4 I killed my diet plan today

I had a great day today. I got my body fat tested and I gained WAY LESS than I anticipated!  I thought for sure I was back at square one. But I only gained 1.2%!  This was super exciting because it's just a relief! Like, wow, I didn't completely throw away all that work!!!

Then I went on to have a pretty solid shoulder workout, and I had time, so I threw in some cardio too! Just 15 minutes of intervals on the cybex machine. 

One thing I noticed today is that following my realization that what makes this my last "starting over" phase are the small, permanent identity changes I will be making. One of them is that I am a "healthy eater". That means it's not a spectacle or anything out of the ordinary for me to eat plain chicken and vegetables. I shouldn't draw attention to it or explain why I'm doing it because it's so boring, typical, routine. It GETS attention because it's different. But I've learned that I need to STOP explaining my meals to anyone who notices/asks.  It's not as if anyone gets all curious and inquisitive when someone gets pizza for lunch. It's just what they do. Eating this way is just what I do. 

Anyway, I totally NAILED my diet today. I ate everything I was supposed to eat, no extras, no fibbing, and I MEASURED MORE!  Today I measured my salad dressing. Just one tablespoon every time. I'm still getting my treats, but I'm really enjoying my progress on my meals. 

Week 1 Day 3

I'm so proud of myself today!!!  I am remembering key pieces of the "how-to" parts of this, like: build small successes so you see yourself as a success, not a failure. 

My proudest accomplishment today was NOT HAVING ANY WINE. I was at a friend's house finishing up a stressful task, and drinking wine is what I USED TO DO when I went to her house. I wasn't really sure how I was going to manage to AVOID IT. It was a perfect storm- after work, I'm tired, this task drives me batty...

But then I remembered that I am getting my body fat tested tomorrow at 8am and NO WAY was I going to put alcohol in my system for that. Which reminds me...I wonder how to take a picture of that for my blog...I'll think about it. 

Diet was pretty good today. 

6:00am coffee and egg whites

8:30am, eggs and oats

9am decaf coffee

10:45am <1 cup cottage cheese

12:30pm green bowl-chicken, vegetables, sesame oil, 1/2 cup white rice. (I made improvements here-no noodles, no sugary sauces, and half the oil I used yesterday)

2:00pm string cheese 12oz diet pepsi

4:00pm chicken 6oz? Cup of greens, salad dressing, chick peas, jello lemon meringue (80 calories)

9pm skinny cow ice cream sandwich

My goal right now isn't to have a PERFECT diet, it's to make this a slower change, one that doesn't FEEL like much of a change. I am pretty happy with what I did today, except the Diet Pepsi. 

My leg workout was awesome and now I'm in bed at a reasonable hour. Sleep will be awesome. 

Week 1 Day 2.

Did great today. 

Breakfast was eggs and oats

11am-cottage cheese

12:30pm- chicken, salad, salad dressing, sweet potato, butter, jello lemon meringue

5:30pm- green bowl-chicken, veggies, with rice noodles, sesame oil, oyster sauce, teriyaki, white rice, and some salty broth. 

I know that's not perfect, and it's not intended to be. I'm just in the process of building little successes. And today, I wanted a fried chicken sandwich like you would not believe. 

I realized I'd have to OWN eating it and changed my mind. 

And then I remembered what it felt like to overcome something like that. But now I'm super tired. Onward to tomorrow. 

Week 1 Day 2

Yesterday started out GREAT. I got up, had my stuff ready for the day, packed my meals and headed to the gym. I felt great. 

But then I went and did a training for three hours. I didn't eat when I should have because I left my food in the car. 

Then they served lunch. I had to make a decision to eat my food or to try to choose wisely from what they had. 

They really didn't have ANYTHING that fit my plan. They also did not have a microwave last time, and gave me a hard time about eating my own good, saying they could have prepared something for me. 

For the record, I don't care for people to TRY and prepare something unless they truly understand what I'm trying to do and WHY I'm eating the way I am. Usually people prepare something that doesn't fit my plan and then I feel ungrateful for not being thrilled about it. 

Anyway, I had a turkey sandwich on a pretzel roll with cheese and some chicken noodle soup. I did choose AGAINST the chips, pasta salad, ciabatta Italian sandwich. I ate slowly and paid attention to when I didn't want anymore. I still had an after-meal slump. 

It's EASIER to just eat clean than to try and wade through choices. 

Then I went back to work and was in a meeting from 1:30 to 4:00. Skipped a meal again. At 4, I had my chicken and salad (with a little bit of dressing). And my treat-a lemon meringue jello dessert thing. It's total crap, but I'm allowing myself a few treats this first few weeks to ease into the habit of eating clean. I was still hungry. I skipped my carbs bc of the pretzel roll I are earlier. 

I went home, ate an ice cream sandwich-skinny cow. 

I HATE having to document this, but it is helpful. I then started working on this goal I have. It's stressful to work on it because it's DIFFICULT. But I did get started. Many times I found myself wanting relief from the stress in the form of a beer. But I turned my attention BACK to the project until 9:30 or so. So I worked from 5:30 to 9:30 and I should be proud of that!

However, I also need to change this habit. At 9:30, I was stressed, tapped out, overwhelmed. I gave in to the notion that I DESERVED a beer. I worked hard! I earned it! This is not helping me reach my goals. I also told myself I deserved to watch Game of Thrones. 

The only beer in my fridge was my roommate's Mad Elf, and that stuff is POTENT. Of course I drank one, and of course I didn't stop at one. I had two. And then I ate three string cheeses and the rest of the crackers I had, which wasn't much, maybe 8 crackers. Then I ate my roommate's potato chips and dip. I can't believe I have to admit that. But, it's time to get honest about what I'm eating and why. My non-negotiable goals this week are to DOCUMENT what I eat and honor my bedtime. Last night, I was up til midnight or later. Onward. Today's a new day.