Week 23, Day 4. Time to get serious.

It's 10:30pm on the noise, which means I am exactly one hour late for my bedtime, so I gotta make this fast.

I decided today that I have to get serious about these last ten pounds if I really want to lose them.

And I really want to lose them.

So tonight I am going to bed, then getting up at 5:30am, NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM! And I am going to the gym.

Then I will reward myself. Only I haven't figured out how yet.

I did not see 129 today. I saw 131.2, but it reminded me that this takes dedication.

So. Starting now, I am dedicated to a schedule. I am dedicated to sleeping, eating, and exercising ON TIME.

Speaking of sleep, it's 10:34pm. Good night.

Week 23, Day 3! Could tomorrow be the day?

I had a great day today, and now I'm up too late. Way too late.
Long story short, I was damn near perfect today. The only exception was one cup of coffee. I am almost ready to make my goal no coffee. But not today.

Anyway, I weighed myself today, and I landed at 130.0lbs. So, I figure that it is completely possible that I will see the numbers 1-2-9 tomorrow. And if I do, that would be soooooo Amazing!!!

I forgot to mention that I also worked my tail off at Amy's class tonight. It was so intense!

Before I knew it I was 20 minutes into the class, and she had me do focused on form and what my body was doing, that I didn't have time to look at the clock.

I tried to remember  that the best athletes are the ones that can ignore the pain. I tried to push past it. I succeeded sometimes. And that's all that counts.

So...I'm finally going to bed. I meant to be in bed a lot sooner. I need to start making choices that honor bed time.

For now, good night!

Week 23, Day 2!

Yesterday was such a good day that I wish I had taken the time to blog about it!

Today was good  but not as good.
I woke up at 8am, before my alarm, but I wanted nothing more than to lay in my bed some more.

So I screwed around. I tried to squirm out of doing ANYTHING. I was so unhappy about the thought of getting out of bed for ANY reason that I ultimately decided, "Hey, if it's this bad, and I don't have anywhere to be until 11am, what's the harm in getting some rest?"

But, as soon as I made that decision, I couldn't let go of the guilt that if I didn't work out NOW I wasn't going to be able to work out at all. Plus, I was supposed to pick up my whiteboard, and I'd have to eat breakfast and shower and get all of my meals around for the day...and I simply would not let myself rest, but I also still did not want to get out of bed.

Eventually, I remembered that Amy had taught me a technique for starting on track that I consistently forget. Visualization.

I realized that and started thinking about how I wanted to look. Then I started acknowledging how every day, consistency counts.

I was finally motivated to get out of bed. I pushed my meeting back to 12 (which was a MUCH better idea), and headed downstairs for breakfast.

I got around for the gym and headed out the door. First, I needed to pick up my whiteboard, then go to the gym, then shower, pack my meals and go to work.

Well.

I didn't give myself enough time. By the time I got to the gym, it was 11am. I literally got on an elliptical for 5 minutes and got off to go home.

But that was ok. At least I conquered that part of me that didn't feel like it.

The more practice I get at out-maneuvering the "I don't feel like it" feeling, the more successful I will become.

I did have a cup of coffee today (at 12pm), and I ate clean EXCEPT for at night I got really tired and really hungry, and stressed as well, so I drank a diet pepsi, and I ate a 100 cal granola bar. At 8pm.

That's not good, but there's more to the story. I ate at 9:30am, 1:30pm, and 5:00pm.  So, I wasn't eating enough. I didn't think I could eat  another meal because it would be too late.

After work (9pm) I got the most raging craving for a chicken sandwich from Sheetz with mayo and cheese and italian dressing. I didn't know how I was going to avoid it. I didn't seem to have any self-discipline left.

Then, all of a sudden, it occurred to me that I would have to blog about it. And I would have to tell Amy. And Amy and I both know I am fully capable of overcoming the craving and making the decisionthat is in line with my goal: go home and go to bed. Do not pass GO, do not collect a chicken sandwich.

So, that's what I did. I came home.

I reposted my motto  "I work out like a m*****f*****!" on my wall to help me keep my goal in perspective.

I drafted a morning routine (I need to feel some kind of regularity in my life) and tomorrow will be my first day of it.

So, now it's 12am and I am up 2 hours later than I planned to be. Tomorrow I will get in bed on time.

And I'm posting this picture for help with refocusing... :)

Week 22 Day 7. Decent day.

I had a strange night last night. I slept until 1pm on Saturday, and that was GREAT. Then I eventually went to the gym and did my laundry, then went straight to work.

I was worried that I would have trouble falling asleep, but I totally didn't. Unfortunately I woke up at 4:30am ready to take on the world. Only, I couldn't think of something to reasonably tackle at 4:30am.

So, I got some much-needed reading done, and eventually fell back to sleep in a wonderful kind of way.

At 7am.

Which means I skipped the gym.

I crawled out of bed at 9:57am, and I was supposed to be at work at 10am.  So, I certainly didn't get to live up to my goal of always leaving my house looking my best.

Anyway, I ate well all day.  But I was on such a hurry to there, I forgot to weigh myself. I never forget that! I love my data!

Anyway, so I got to work, and immediately got some Saints' coffee. I would have been better off if I hadn't, but I turned out ok.

I ate three clean meals  despite REALLY wanting some french toast or pancakes.

I did then drink another coffee later. But I managed to say no to the donuts!

After work, I skipped the gym again. I told myself something like, "I'm tired" "It doesn't really matter if I go tonight" "I don't have time".  All of which is just my brain saying, "I don't feel like it, so I'm going to convince you it's ok."

I did, however, get some groceries and de-cluttered my room.

That felt awesome. Now I'm going to read until I fall asleep, and hit the gym before work in the morning!

Week 22, Day 6. Getting back in my routine.

I slept until 1pm today. It was  great and I needed it. I just wasn't prepared for how much I would want to CONTINUE laying around after I woke up.

I finally, after making breakfast and sipping my tea, AND reading my book, I finally decided to get my ass to the gym. I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO.

I also had to do my laundry, and I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO.

But, I knew I just had to get the ball rolling, as Amy would say.

The summary is that I ate clean all day long, with the exception of getting coffee before work, and I did 20 pops...quality pops! I could even still run at 9mph!

Tomorrow my goal is to get to the gym before breakfast, eat clean all day, and be in bed by 9:30am.

I've got an early morning monday, and I want to get back into working out before breakfast.

Week 22, Day 5. I've been a bad bad girl.

I forgot how much it sucks to be honest about your weight loss efforts when you're not making much of an effort.

Here was my day.

I didn't get up and go to the gym. I was exhausted. Amy gave me a plan that I could have used to get 20 minutes of exercise in, but as it turned out, I didn't even have enough time to put my make up on and do my hair for work, which is important.

At the conference I went to, they stressed how important it is that every time you leave your house, you look your very best.

This is not something I've  mastered, in fact, I almost never do my hair and make up any more, because there are a  thousand other things I'd rather be doing.  Plus the feminist in me says "Guys aren't wasting their life doing their hair and make up. This is a conspiracy, and I won't be fooled!"

So, my point is, I was very disappointed when my one day streak of following this advice was over. Better luck tomorrow.

So...day started out hectic after I got out of bed at 8am. Barrier had enough time to cook and get ready for work, THEN my car was covered with frost, and I was almost late to work, which would have been very bad, so I was more stressed.  I really wanted coffee, but I ran out time for that too.

As I sat at my desk, it occurred to me that I was REALLY tired. By the end of my first meeting I was ready to dive face-first into fat and sugar.

But, I couldn't because I had to wait for other people to cover the office. That was at 11:30am.  Now, I had my food. I could have cooked it and are it.

Did I?

No.

I waited until 1:30 or so, when we had coverage, and matched right to the Indian restaurant and ate the buffet. White rice, naan, paneer, butter chicken, etc.

Then I went to Dunkin Donuts and got coffee with CREAM AND SUGAR and 3 donuts. Two old-fashioneds (the extra one was a mistake, but I ate it anyway) and a bavarian cream-filled.

I forgot to mention that I had developed a pretty raging headache by 11am that I couldn't shake. This didn't help.

I went back to the office and  as you can imagine, had a food coma for the rest of the day. I couldn't IMAGINE working at Green Bowl all night. 

But I did.

And I ate there too, at about 8pm.  I had noodles and vegetables and 4 different scoops of sauce including sesame oil. I just didn't care!

As Mel Robbins would say, "I simply did what I felt like doing." And what I felt like doing was apparently sabotaging my weight loss, because after work, at 10:30pm, I went to Kiwi!

I have NEVER had such a day.

I think two key things are:
1) Get enough rest.
2) Do not let work stress derail my plan for the day.

I can only hope that my coach doesn't disown me for this.

Tonight, I'm going to get rested.  There was at least one night in the recent past that I only got 3 hours of sleep...come to think of it, there were 3 nights in a row.

Maybe it's just catching up with me, because I can't remember a time that was quite that bad.

My first priority is to rest. My second priority is to workout.  My third priority is to eat clean tomorrow.

Maybe treat today like a cheat day. Although, it wasn't cheating, it was totally self-medicating with food.

I will have to talk with Amy to see how to get thought work stress, but blogging definitely helps. I mean, just now, I have reviewed my day, and in so doing, I have de-stressed and looked for ways to be more successful.

Looks like blogging will become a daily thing again.
Maybe I will also revisit my goals.

Week 22, Day 4.

So, I can't believe it's been a month since Amy put me on my 2 a day workouts!

I've really lost my focus. For the past 6 days I've just disregarded my diet and workouts.

Oh no.

I just realized that the reason I'm not gaining anything pounds wise us because I'm sure I'm losing muscle mass.

Crap.

But, I've made the decision to get back on track, no matter how I feel, no matter how stressed out I am, no matter what.

I am still around 130-131, but I REALLY need to respect my diet and workout schedule. 

Tomorrow, I will eat clean.  I would like to work out too, so I will have to get up at 7am to get to the gym and then I can make my breakfast at work. I definitely need to lift some weights and do some serious cardio.

And, I will have to start blogging more regularly to keep myself accountable.

Bedtime.